It\u2019s like they have emotional blind spots that cause these sudden shifts, and you\u2019re left navigating the fallout. <\/p>\n\n\n
2. They need attention (constantly)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
You know the type \u2014 the person who can\u2019t stand not being the center of attention. No matter the situation, they demand the spotlight but give little in return. It\u2019s exhausting being the supporting character in someone else\u2019s show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dr. Craig Malkin, in Rethinking Narcissism<\/em>, introduces the concept of “echoism,” in which narcissists take all the attention without ever reciprocating. Malkin says this behavior stems from a fear of inadequacy, constantly craving validation to feel secure.[2<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a one-way transaction \u2014 they soak up the admiration but rarely offer emotional support back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s giving Regina George from Mean Girls <\/em>\u2014 she thrives in the spotlight, always the star, her problems are always the most important, and her opinions are the only ones that matter. <\/p>\n\n\n People who disrespect boundaries<\/a> often ignore or challenge your personal space, making you feel trapped or overwhelmed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Experts argue that people who violate boundaries are often trying to exert control. They ignore your “no” to get what they want, pushing you to your breaking point. Recognizing when this happens empowers you to stand firm and protect your emotional well-being.[3<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n When someone refuses to respect the lines you draw, it can be emotionally draining, constantly having to defend your personal space. <\/p>\n\n\n Controlling and manipulative people<\/a> try to get what they want by treating relationships like tools, not connections. Very amoral. Very Machiavellian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Researchers Christie and Geis find that individuals with high Machiavellian traits are incredibly skilled at manipulating and exploiting others for personal gain, with zero moral compass. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This detachment from empathy and morality allows them to view others as mere pawns in their game, using people as tools to achieve their goals without considering the emotional or ethical consequences.[4<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s practically the character bio for Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones <\/em>\u2014 a master manipulator pulling the strings to stay in control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But what\u2019s the real cost? Like Cersei, manipulators might win battles, but they often end up alone, with their relationships left in ruins from their constant need for control.<\/p>\n\n\n Gaslighting<\/a> is one of the most damaging tactics toxic people use. They make you question your own reality, brushing off things you know happened or dismissing your feelings like they don\u2019t matter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dr. Robin Stern, in her groundbreaking book The Gaslight Effect<\/em>, explains how gaslighters slowly wear down your self-confidence by warping your perception of events.[5<\/a>]<\/sup> You start doubting yourself, thinking maybe you\u2019re overreacting or imagining things \u2014 you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Understanding gaslighting helps you spot when someone is trying to manipulate your mind, protecting your mental health before it takes a serious hit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ever been around someone who constantly criticizes or belittles you? Your taste in music is bad, your clothes are never fashionable enough, and your choices are always somehow wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A study published in Psychosomatic Medicine<\/em> found that chat negative interactions, especially in close relationships, can have a profound effect on well-being. Being around judgmental people, whether friends, family, or partners, can leave you feeling small and insecure, leading to anxiety and depression.[6<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Judgment like this not only undermines your abilities but also messes with your sense of self-worth.<\/p>\n\n\n Dishonesty is one of the most toxic traits in any relationship. Whether it\u2019s through small lies or massive fabrications, a pattern of deceit is damaging over time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dr. Bella DePaulo\u2019s research on everyday lying shows that people lie in about one-fifth of their social interactions. In her book The Hows and Whys of Lies<\/em>, she explains how frequent liars often lie to manipulate or control situations. Over time, this erodes trust and undermines the foundation of any healthy relationship.[7<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Lies might seem small at first, but they accumulate \u2014 and soon, you\u2019re questioning everything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We all know that person who can never admit when they\u2019re wrong. Instead, they always blame someone else for their problems, spinning a tale that makes them look like the victim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dr. Stephen Karpman\u2019s concept of the drama triangle<\/em>, published in the Transactional Analysis Bulletin<\/em>, breaks down these roles: the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer. Those stuck in the victim mindset deflect blame, seek sympathy, and avoid accountability \u2014 all while making everyone else feel responsible for their mess.[8<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Any Friends<\/em> fan has seen this before \u2014 it\u2019s classic Ross Geller. Whether it’s his failed marriages or “we were on a break,” Ross often paints himself as the victim, deflecting blame and making others feel responsible for his issues.<\/p>\n\n\n Ever interact with someone and feel like they\u2019ve sucked the life right out of you? That\u2019s because some people are what Dr. Judith Orloff calls \u201cemotional vampires.\u201d In Emotional Freedom<\/em>, Dr. Orloff explains how these people drain your energy with their constant negativity, neediness, or drama. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether through endless complaints, emotional manipulation<\/a>, or sheer emotional chaos, they leave you feeling completely wiped out. Setting firm boundaries with emotional vampires is key to protecting your mental and emotional well-being.[9<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Such constant swings between hostility and affection leave victims emotionally wiped, while the toxic person feeds off the chaos they created.<\/p>\n\n\n Ever notice how some people get weirdly quiet when something great happens for you? Instead of being genuinely happy, they feel jealous or competitive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A study in Psychological Bulletin<\/em> found that envy can lead to resentment and feelings of injustice, which can seriously strain relationships. The research shows that envy doesn\u2019t just damage friendships \u2014 it blocks mutual support and creates distance.[10<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s no better example than Bridesmaids<\/em>. Annie\u2019s life is a total mess \u2014 her bakery tanked, her love life\u2019s a disaster, and she\u2019s barely holding it together. Meanwhile, her best friend Lillian is engaged, making glamorous new friends, and succeeding in ways Annie can only dream of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That gap between them hits Annie like a truck. Instead of being thrilled for Lillian, Annie\u2019s jealousy takes over, and she spirals into a mix of awkward self-sabotage and bitter envy. It\u2019s a painfully relatable (and hilarious) look at how envy can sneak into even the closest friendships.<\/p>\n\n\n We all know someone who constantly complains, focusing on the worst aspects of every situation. No matter what, they always seem to bring the mood down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It turns out humans are hard-wired to focus more on the negatives \u2014 thanks to what researchers call the \u201cnegativity bias.\u201d But when someone is constantly negative, it goes beyond survival instincts and becomes draining for everyone around them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Research published in the Review of General Psychology<\/em> explains that people with a strong negativity bias often have underlying anxiety or low self-esteem that fuels their outlook, making them perceive life\u2019s every hiccup as a disaster waiting to happen.[11<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Even worse. Negativity is contagious. A Harvard study found that being around persistently negative people actually raises your own stress levels, leaving you more emotionally exhausted and less resilient.[12<\/a>]<\/sup> <\/p>\n\n\n\n So when you\u2019re dealing with a real-life George Costanza, his constant complaints can easily become your mental burden, turning what could have been a sunny day into a cloudy one.<\/p>\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Toxic positivity is when someone dismisses your real emotions with forced optimism \u2014 “just look on the bright side” or “it could be worse” \u2014 instead of acknowledging what you\u2019re actually feeling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whitney Goodman, author of Toxic Positivity<\/em>, explains how this attitude invalidates emotions, stopping people from processing their struggles and healing. Her research shows that embracing all emotions, not just the happy ones, is key to emotional well-being.[13<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Inside Out<\/em> nailed this perfectly. Joy\u2019s obsession with (herself, I guess) happiness blinds her to the fact that Sadness plays a vital role in emotional balance. It\u2019s a reminder that feeling bad sometimes isn\u2019t just okay, it\u2019s necessary for growth. <\/p>\n\n\n Ever notice how some people\u2019s affection seems to come with strings attached? They\u2019re supportive and loving \u2014 when you do things their way or meet their needs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dr. Gary Chapman, in The Five Love Languages<\/em>, explains that love should be unconditional in healthy, secure relationships<\/a>. If someone\u2019s care feels like it\u2019s based on what you do for them, that\u2019s a huge red flag.[14<\/a>]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Conditional love can make you feel disposable once you no longer serve a purpose, or unworthy of love when you fail to meet the toxic person\u2019s conditions, even if you\u2019re simply being true to yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n The silent treatment is hands down one of the most isolating forms of emotional manipulation out there. When your partner suddenly shuts down, stops talking, and basically pretends you don\u2019t exist, all because of something you said or did, it could be a warning sign of a toxic person<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They don\u2019t bother explaining why, leaving you in the dark, confused, and questioning everything. The tension builds up like a storm cloud, and you\u2019re left scrambling for answers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This kind of behavior doesn\u2019t just make you feel alone \u2014 it shuts down any chance of real communication or resolution, leaving you stuck in an endless loop of hurt and frustration. It\u2019s like emotional purgatory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Financial control happens when one partner restricts the other\u2019s access to money, making all the decisions without input. It\u2019s a telltale sign of an emotionally abusive relationship<\/a> and has to be addressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This power imbalance leaves the other partner feeling trapped, powerless, and completely dependent. Over time, that dynamic builds resentment and strips away your autonomy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In healthy relationships, financial decisions are shared, with both partners having equal say. When one person holds all the control, the balance is shattered, leaving the controlled partner feeling small and stuck. No one should ever have to ask for permission to feel financially secure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Obsessive jealousy is toxic with a capital \u201cT.\u201d It\u2019s that suffocating feeling when your partner is constantly suspicious of your every move, checking your phone, grilling you about your friends, and assuming the worst even when there\u2019s no evidence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Over time, it turns love into an interrogation, eroding trust and security. Jealousy this intense doesn\u2019t just ruin the relationship \u2014 it makes both partners feel trapped in a toxic cycle of doubt and insecurity. Eventually, it overshadows any feelings of love, leaving the relationship in a constant battle of suspicion and defensiveness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Neglect in a relationship isn\u2019t always obvious, but it\u2019s devastating. When your partner consistently ignores your emotional or physical needs, like they forget you even exist, it can be emotionally debilitating. Maybe they never ask how your day was or, worse, they brush off your feelings entirely when you try to share something vulnerable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Over time, this disregard makes you feel invisible, unimportant, and like an afterthought in your own relationship. Neglect may not be as loud as a screaming argument, but it slowly chips away at the foundation of connection, leaving behind resentment and distance that\u2019s hard to repair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Isolation is a classic form of manipulation present in any relationship with a controlling person<\/a>. A controlling partner might discourage you from seeing friends or family, subtly making you feel guilty for wanting a life outside of them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Over time, this cuts you off from your support network, leaving you emotionally dependent on them. It\u2019s not just about loneliness \u2014 it\u2019s about control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The more isolated you become, the harder it is to see the situation clearly or maintain a sense of independence. Healthy relationships thrive on connection and trust, not confinement and control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Overdependence may seem like intense love, but it\u2019s a red flag hiding in plain sight. It happens when one partner relies too much on the other for emotional support, decision-making, or just about everything else. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Take Bella and Edward in Twilight<\/em>, for example. Bella loses her sense of identity without him, especially in New Moon<\/em>. While Hollywood may romanticize this kind of devotion, in real life, it can be suffocating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One partner feels burdened by constant emotional needs, and the other becomes incapable of functioning alone. Healthy love should build both people up, not turn one into an emotional crutch.<\/p>\n\n\n Refusal to compromise is the ultimate relationship bulldozer. One partner insists on getting their way, every time, without considering the other\u2019s needs or wants. Imagine every plan, decision, and argument always going their way, with zero room for your voice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With time, this imbalance leads to serious resentment, because let\u2019s face it \u2014 no one likes feeling like their needs are just background noise. Healthy relationships are built on give and take. If compromise is off the table, then you\u2019re not in a partnership anymore \u2014 you\u2019re just living in someone else\u2019s world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional withholding is when your partner pulls back all affection, intimacy, and attention just to punish you. It\u2019s that cold shoulder treatment after an argument, where they completely shut down and stop showing love or care. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This tactic leaves you feeling insecure and questioning yourself, like you\u2019re being punished just for having feelings. It\u2019s incredibly damaging because it deepens emotional wounds and creates a hostile environment where neither partner feels valued. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional withholding destroys intimacy, leaving both people feeling disconnected and alone in the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unrealistic expectations are a relationship\u2019s slow poison. It\u2019s when one partner expects perfection, often setting impossible standards the other can never meet. It\u2019s the pressure to perform rather than just be<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But a relationship built on such demands becomes exhausting and damaging, making the other person feel constantly inadequate and walking on eggshells.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Healthy relationship expectations<\/a>, however, include accepting each other\u2019s flaws, allowing room for mistakes, and communicating openly about needs. When you\u2019re constantly trying to meet someone\u2019s impossible standards, it becomes exhausting and damaging. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Disregarding consent, especially in intimate situations, is a massive betrayal of trust. When one partner pressures or forces<\/a> the other into something they\u2019re uncomfortable with \u2014 whether it\u2019s about physical intimacy or even major life decisions \u2014 it crosses a line that no one should ever have to endure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It strips the person of their autonomy, leaving them feeling disempowered, violated, and unsafe. Respecting consent is fundamental to any healthy, loving relationship. When consent is disregarded, it causes deep emotional harm, damaging the foundation of trust and respect that relationships are built on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n
3. They disrespect boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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4. They manipulate and try to control others<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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5. They gaslight you<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
6. They are judgmental<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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7. They lie and are dishonest<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
8. They always play the victim<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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9. They are emotionally draining <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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10. They are unable to celebrate your successes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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11. They are excessively negative<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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12. They exhibit toxic positivity<\/h3>\n\n\n\nIf I hear “positive vibes only” one more time, I swear my head will explode.\n\n\n\n
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13. Their love and support are conditional<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nToxic Behavior in a Relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Silent treatment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Financial control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Obsessive jealousy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Neglect<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Isolation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Overdependence<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n
Refusal to compromise<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Emotional withholding<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Unrealistic expectations<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Disregard for consent<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Addictive behaviors<\/h3>\n\n\n\n