What if I told you there’s a secret that could unlock this kind of passion? A way to trigger his deepest, most primal instincts — the part of him that craves love, devotion, and commitment on a level that goes beyond the surface?

When I first met my husband, we had an amazing connection. But as time passed, something held him back. He was distant, hesitant, and afraid to fully commit. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get through to him. It felt like I was losing him, and I couldn’t figure out why.

Then a friend introduced me to a concept that changed everything: the hero instinct.

At first, I didn’t believe it. It sounded too simple. But as I learned more, I realized this wasn’t just a gimmick — it was rooted in the deep, primal psychology of men. And once I figured out how to activate this instinct in him, our entire relationship transformed. Today, we’re not just married — we’re deeply in love, and his devotion to me is unshakable.

Now, I want to share this powerful secret with you, so you can experience the same kind of intense love and commitment from your man.

What Is the Hero Instinct?

At the core of every man are three powerful desires:

1. The need to feel needed: Men want to know that they play a vital role in your life.
2. The desire to feel respected: Men crave admiration from the woman they love.
3. The drive to live with purpose: Men need to feel that their efforts and sacrifices matter.

When you satisfy these deep psychological needs, you unlock a part of him that is rarely seen — a part that pulls him closer to you like a magnetic force. Suddenly, his fear of commitment melts away, and he’s drawn to you on a level that’s undeniable.

But how do you trigger this hero instinct and make him fall for you deeply and fully? Here’s how.

1. Challenge him to become his best self

And when he overcomes those challenges, guess who he’ll associate that feeling of triumph with? You. He’ll feel proud, confident, and connected to you in ways he didn’t even know were possible.

2. Let him be your hero

Men are hardwired to protect and provide. It’s a part of their DNA. And while you’re fully capable of handling life on your own, letting him step in when you need help taps into this primal desire.

Whether it’s something as small as asking him to open a jar or something more substantial like fixing a problem around the house, you’re giving him the chance to be there for you in a way that strengthens your bond.

When a man feels needed, he instinctively wants to be more present in your life. This isn’t about sacrificing your independence; it’s about showing him that you value and trust his role in your world.

3. Praise him with sincerity and depth

Men, like women, crave validation — but not just any kind of praise. They want to feel truly seen. Superficial compliments will only scratch the surface, but when you dig deeper and acknowledge the qualities that really matter, he’ll feel understood in a way that no other woman has ever made him feel.

Tell him how much you admire his strength, his integrity, the way he handles challenges. Let him know how much his kindness and support mean to you. When you make him feel valued for who he truly is, he’ll begin to see you as the woman who understands him better than anyone else.

4. Send the 12-word text that changes everything

Sometimes, a few well-chosen words can change everything. I remember when my partner started to pull away early in our relationship. He became distant, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t bring him back. I was on the verge of losing him.

That’s when I discovered a simple but powerful 12-word text. I sent it, and almost immediately, he opened up to me like never before. That one message became the turning point in our relationship.

Curious about what this 12-word text can do? Click here to discover how it works and why it’s so effective.

5. Be his steadfast support

Behind every strong man is an even stronger woman. Men need to feel supported, especially when they’re chasing their dreams or facing life’s challenges. When you show him that you believe in him, even when he doubts himself, he’ll start to see you as his rock — his safe haven.

And once he realizes that you’re the person who will stand by him through thick and thin, his attachment to you will deepen in ways you’ve only dreamed of.

6. Boost his confidence and make him feel like a king

No matter how confident a man may seem, he still craves validation from the woman he loves. Let him know that you see his strengths. Tell him how much you appreciate his efforts, whether it’s the way he makes you laugh or the way he stands strong in the face of stress.

When you become the source of his confidence, you’ll also become the source of his deepest desire.

7. Show him deep, genuine appreciation

Gratitude can transform a relationship. A simple, heartfelt “thank you” for the little things he does can make him feel valued and cherished in ways that go beyond words. When a man feels appreciated, his natural instinct is to give even more of himself to you.

The more you show him gratitude, the more he’ll want to be by your side, committed fully to making your life better.

Ready to Be the Woman He Can’t Live Without?

By tapping into his hero instinct, you’ll unlock a part of him that’s rarely seen. You’ll make him feel alive, needed, respected, and deeply connected to you. It’s not about changing who you are — it’s about bringing out the best in him and creating a bond that’s unbreakable.

Men crave this more than anything when it comes to relationships. It’s not about grand gestures or rescuing you from danger — it’s about him stepping up, being your everyday hero, and earning your admiration in ways that make him feel valued and irreplaceable.

And here’s the secret: Once you trigger this instinct, his attraction for you will intensify in ways you never thought possible.

In his brilliant free video, James Bauer reveals the exact words, texts, and small requests you can use to unlock this hidden drive inside him. When you tap into his hero instinct, it’s like flipping a switch — he’ll see you in a whole new light, and the attraction will be undeniable.

Want to unlock that kind of chemistry? Watch the free video now and learn how to awaken the man you’ve always wanted him to be. Click here to watch!

Sometimes, his actions speak volumes—louder than words ever could.

In this article, we’re sharing 20 undeniable signs that he’s catching feelings, even if he hasn’t come out and said it yet. And don’t worry—he’s probably just trying to make sense of these overwhelming emotions. Because when a man is truly falling, it can leave him reeling, unsure of how to express it.

It might not be long before he’s head over heels for you. But in the meantime, here’s what to look for:

1. He Can’t Stop Staring at You

Have you noticed his eyes lingering on you, even when you’re not speaking? It’s as if the world disappears when you’re near. Whether you’re across a crowded room or sitting right next to him, his gaze finds you, filled with something deeper than just physical attraction. His eyes tell you what his words haven’t yet—he’s falling, hard.

2. His Friends Know All About You

When his friends know details about you—things you haven’t even shared with them—it’s because he’s been talking about you. A lot. He can’t keep you out of his conversations, and that’s a powerful sign that you’re constantly on his mind. His excitement spills over, and he just can’t help but share his feelings with the people closest to him.

3. He’s Infatuated with You

Why do some men become utterly infatuated with certain women? Science shows it’s not always about logic—it’s about chemistry, an irresistible pull. Want to be the woman who lights up his world, who he’s drawn to with a primal intensity?

Try this: Watch James Bauer’s video on His Secret Obsession, where he reveals the secret to making him completely obsessed with you by tapping into his deepest desires.

4. He Always Wants to Spend Time with You

Does he want to be around you all the time, no matter what you’re doing? Whether it’s a casual movie night or an afternoon running errands, he’s eager to join you. He’s not there for the activity—he’s there for you. It’s his way of saying, “I want to be close to you, always.”

5. He Can’t Get Enough of Your Kisses

Sure, the physical connection is electric, but the way he lingers on your lips tells you it’s more than that. Kissing you isn’t just an act—it’s an emotional experience, a way to feel connected. He craves that closeness, the intimacy of being wrapped up in you.

6. He’s Always Close to You

He sits right next to you when there’s plenty of space elsewhere. At the dinner table, on the couch—his body seems magnetically drawn to yours. It’s as if he needs to be near you, to feel your presence. With every little gesture, he’s showing you that his desire for you goes beyond the surface—it’s a deep, emotional pull.

7. He’s Perfectly Happy Just Chilling with You

Fancy dinners? Elaborate dates? He doesn’t need them. He’s more than content spending quiet nights at home, just the two of you. The comfort and ease he feels in your presence means something significant—he’s not just attracted to you, he’s emotionally connected, feeling safe and secure in your company.

8. He Sees You as The One

Do you feel like this might be the guy you’ve been waiting for? Sometimes, that connection feels so real, so intense, it’s undeniable. And he’s probably feeling it too. Want to make sure he’s not only falling but completely committed?

Text Chemistry could be the key. Discover how to use the power of texting to create irresistible chemistry and make him crave you even when you’re apart. Watch Amy North’s free video to learn more.

9. He’s Told You His Deepest Secrets

When a man shares the parts of himself he keeps hidden from others—his insecurities, his dreams, his fears—that’s a sign of trust. He’s opening up to you, letting you into the most vulnerable parts of his life. He’s hoping you’ll accept him fully, even the pieces he’s afraid to reveal.

10. He Compliments Your Uniqueness

When he tells you how different you are from other women he’s dated, pay attention. It’s not just flattery—he’s expressing that you’ve touched him in ways no one else has. There’s something about you that captivates him, something that sets you apart. And that’s how you know he’s falling deeper.

11. He’s Not Seeing Anyone Else

You’ve become his one and only. His dating apps? Deleted. His exes? Forgotten. When he’s focused solely on you, it’s because he’s investing his heart, preparing to give himself fully.

12. He Smiles Around You—A Lot

That kind of happiness? It’s impossible to fake. If he’s always grinning when he’s with you, it’s because you light up his world. His smile is more than just a friendly gesture—it’s a reflection of the joy he feels in your presence, a glimpse into how much he adores you.

13. He Goes Out of His Way to Help You

Whether he’s fixing your car, moving furniture, or just offering a hand when you need it, he’s eager to help. His actions are saying, “I’m here for you. I want to take care of you.” And that’s a powerful sign of emotional commitment.

14. You’re the First Person He Shares Good News With

When something great happens, you’re the first person he tells. He can’t wait to share his joy with you because you’ve become his closest confidant, the person he values most. Want him thinking about you all day, even when you’re apart?

Learn how to keep him hooked with The Devotion System by Amy North. It’s packed with tips to ensure your connection grows stronger with every text. Watch her free video to get started.

15. He Talks About You to His Mom

If his mom knows who you are, even before you’ve met her, that’s a massive sign he’s serious. He’s not just seeing a future with you—he’s already starting to merge you into the most important parts of his life.

16. He Praises You Often

Maybe he’s not saying “I love you” just yet, but he’s showering you with praise. He’s constantly complimenting your intelligence, your beauty, your kindness—everything that makes you who you are. His admiration is growing into something deeper, something profound.

17. He Can’t Stop Kissing You

When he reaches for your lips over and over, it’s because kissing has become more than just a physical act for him. It’s an emotional connection, a way to feel closer to you. And when a man kisses you like this, he’s falling fast.

18. You Catch Him Staring at You

He might not say it outright, but the way he looks at you says it all. When his eyes are filled with admiration, it’s because he’s seeing something special in you—something that’s pulling him in deeper every day.

19. He Acts a Little Awkward Around You

Sometimes, when men catch deep feelings, they don’t know how to handle them. If he’s acting a little awkward or distant, it might be because he’s overwhelmed by emotions he’s not used to feeling.

Want to decode his behavior and truly understand what’s going on in his mind? Make Him Worship You reveals how to trigger deep emotional commitment. Watch Michael Fiore’s free video to learn how to make him fall head over heels for you.

20. He Shares Childhood Memories with You

When he opens up about his past, especially his childhood, it’s a major sign of trust. He’s letting you into his world, showing you the parts of him that shaped who he is, hoping you’ll accept every part.

Make It Something More

Now that you’ve recognized some of these unmistakable signs, it’s time to think about what comes next. Relationships require effort, but when you know how to tap into the deeper desires that drive men, it can transform your connection into something lasting and meaningful.

Ready to take your relationship to the next level? His Secret Obsession shows you how to trigger his hero instinct and make him devoted to you for life. Watch the video to learn how to ignite his deepest desires and keep him hooked forever.

Are you caught in a relationship that feels stuck, like you’re going nowhere?
Do you find yourself attracting men, only to have things fizzle out before it ever gets real?
Or worse—have you just ended things with a guy and now you’re wondering what went wrong?

Trust me—you are not alone. I’ve been through it all. The heartbreak, the sleepless nights, the endless questioning. I know how it feels to watch someone you care about slip through your fingers, unsure of what you could have done differently.

But everything changed for me when I discovered one powerful insight about men—a secret that transformed my love life from chaotic and confusing to deep, passionate, and utterly fulfilling.

Today, I want to share that life-changing revelation with you. This single realization saved my relationship, and it can save yours too. So if you’re ready to experience the kind of love that makes your heart race, keep reading—because what you’re about to discover could change everything.

Why My Love Life Was Always Falling Apart

For years, my love life felt like a never-ending rollercoaster ride—thrilling at first, but eventually always leaving me stranded, heartbroken, and alone.

I mean, I thought I had a lot going for me: I’m finishing my first novel, I have a borderline obsession with true crime documentaries, and I could probably live on sushi alone. But when it came to relationships? A disaster.

Every time I met someone, it felt perfect at first. He was funny, kind, adventurous—he checked all the boxes. But just a few months in, it would all change. He’d start pulling away. The texts became less frequent. He didn’t seem as excited to spend time together. And then—poof—he was gone.

Sound familiar?

It’s soul-crushing, wondering what went wrong when everything seemed so right. But then, I met Jason…

I Thought Jason Was “The One”

When Jason came into my life, I was convinced he was it. Our connection was instant, natural. We weren’t just boyfriend and girlfriend—we were best friends. I felt like I could finally relax and imagine a future together.

After six months, I was head over heels. I was dreaming of our life together, certain I’d found my forever. But then, just like all the others before him, the cracks began to show. He started to pull away. He wasn’t as eager to spend time with me, and small things started to irritate him. I could feel him slipping away.

When I asked him if anything was wrong, he gave me that dreaded, nonchalant, “I’m fine.” And we all know what that means: he’s not fine.

Jason continued to pull back, and I spiraled into full-blown panic mode. My mind raced: Was I too much for him? Did I say something wrong? Am I not enough?

I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. But I didn’t know what to do.

Cracking the Code: The Missing Puzzle Piece

One night, it hit me—what if I was missing something? Maybe there was a piece of the puzzle I just wasn’t seeing.

I realized I didn’t understand what was really going on inside Jason’s head. He wasn’t opening up about what was bothering him, and like many men, he wasn’t great at talking about his feelings. But I knew he still cared about me—he just wasn’t happy. And if I couldn’t figure out why, I’d lose him.

I wasn’t ready to give up. I had to find a way to understand what was truly going on in his heart.

The Secret That Changed Everything

After hours of research and pouring through endless relationship advice articles, I finally stumbled upon something different. It was a piece by James Bauer, a renowned relationship expert. He introduced me to a concept I’d never heard of before—a concept that completely transformed my understanding of men.

James called it the Hero Instinct, and it was the key to everything.

According to James, men are hardwired with a deep, biological drive to feel needed and essential in a woman’s life. It’s not about being a knight in shining armor or making grand gestures—it’s about men needing to feel like they make a unique and irreplaceable impact in your life.

When they don’t feel this way, they can start to emotionally drift. But when you trigger this instinct, it pulls them closer, making them more devoted and emotionally invested than ever before.

What I Learned About Men Was a Game-Changer

James explained that men need to feel like more than just your partner—they need to feel like your hero. This doesn’t mean being manipulative or playing games. It’s about tapping into that deep biological drive, the instinct that makes men want to stick around for the long haul.

I realized that I hadn’t been showing Jason how important he was to me in a way that spoke to this primal need. I had been overlooking something so simple, yet so crucial: his need to feel needed in a way that made him feel irreplaceable.

How I Turned Things Around

I knew I needed more than just an introduction to this concept—I needed to know how to put it into practice. That’s when I decided to invest in James Bauer’s program, His Secret Obsession. It was the exact step-by-step guide I needed to turn things around in my relationship.

James taught me how to activate Jason’s Hero Instinct in a way that made him feel deeply connected to me—like I wasn’t just someone he cared about, but someone he couldn’t live without.

And guess what? It worked.

Jason leaned back into the relationship. He became more attentive, more affectionate, more invested. For the first time in my life, I felt completely secure. Jason wasn’t with me because he felt obligated—he was with me because he wanted to be.

What My Relationship Looks Like Now

My relationship with Jason? It’s better than ever. He’s more present, more affectionate, and more committed than I ever imagined he could be. And for the first time in my life, I feel secure and deeply loved.

So, what changed?

• There’s an undeniable fire between us that just keeps burning brighter.
• Jason shows me more affection now than even in the early days of our relationship.
• Most importantly, I feel completely secure—he’s with me because he truly wants to be.

It Can Work for You, Too

I’m not a relationship expert. I’m just a regular woman who found herself stuck in a painful cycle with men. But now, I’ve broken free of that pattern—and if I can do it, so can you.

Ready to unlock the Hero Instinct in your man? Watch James Bauer’s free video presentation and discover how you can trigger this powerful instinct. It’s the key to creating a bond that’s deeper than love.

Don’t Wait for Him to Pull Away

If you’re tired of feeling like your relationships are slipping through your fingers, now’s the time to take action. You can stop wondering if he’s losing interest and start building the kind of connection that makes him crave being with you.

Watch James Bauer’s free video on His Secret Obsession and learn how to make him fall deeper in love with you every day.

You don’t have to wait until it’s too late. With the right understanding, you can become the woman he can’t live without. You deserve that kind of love.

Picture this: He’s not just drawn to you, he’s completely addicted. You’re the only woman he thinks about, the one he dreams about, the one he craves. His every moment is consumed by thoughts of you—how to be near you, how to please you, how to make you his forever.

If so, you’re in the right place. And it’s far easier than you think.

The truth is, there’s a powerful set of behaviors that can hook a man’s attention in ways that make him yearn for you like never before.

And here’s the most intriguing part: it has nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with your energy and attitude.

That’s because these psychological triggers tap into his deepest desires—the ones he may not even realize he has.

Once you harness the right mindset and techniques, you’ll not only have his attention—you’ll have him obsessed, fully devoted to you. He’ll long for you, desire you, and need you in ways that will make you the center of his universe. Here’s how:

1. Understand Why Men Pull Away… and Learn How to Make Him Always Come Back for More

Ever felt the connection slip away just when things were going perfectly? That sinking feeling when he starts to pull back, creating distance for no apparent reason? It’s maddening, isn’t it? Well, you’re not alone. The truth is, most women unknowingly make attraction-destroying mistakes that drive men away—mistakes that can easily fizzle out the most promising romance.

Do you know what the top 3 mistakes are that almost every woman makes? These mistakes silently sabotage your connection. But don’t worry—there’s hope. I’ll show you exactly how to dodge these relationship-killers and keep him not only close but hungry for more of you. Find out how to avoid these deadly traps and have him hooked by watching Amy North’s free video here.

2. Use the “Obsession Formula” to Make Him Desperately Devoted to YOU

What if you could whisper a few, simple words that could make a man instantly addicted to you? Words that burrow deep into his mind, igniting an uncontrollable craving for you—no matter how distant he’s been or how “not interested” he claims to be. Sounds powerful, right? That’s because it is.

I call it the “Devotion Sequence,” a set of precisely chosen phrases that spark a man’s desire from within. It’s like flipping a switch, awakening a need so intense he won’t be able to think of anyone but you. This is the ultimate game-changer in relationships. Discover the exact formula by watching Amy North’s free video here.

3. There’s an Irresistible Texting Trick to Make Him Chase You Relentlessly

Have you ever stared at your phone, waiting for his reply, only to be met with silence? Or worse—seeing his reply come hours (or days) later? It’s infuriating. But imagine flipping the script—imagine him glued to his phone, aching for your next message. With my “Phone Phrenzy” tactic, you’ll create so much mystery, intrigue, and excitement that he won’t be able to resist checking his phone constantly.

This secret texting method will shift the entire dynamic, making him chase you—often too much. You’ll become the center of his attention. Want to learn how? Check out Amy North’s free video and get the secret here.

4. Create a “Soulmate’s Connection” and Make Him Dream of a Forever with You

Do you want him to not only fall in love with you but to imagine spending his entire life by your side? There are three powerful psychological triggers that can turn fleeting attraction into a soulmate-level bond. These psychological loopholes dig deep into his subconscious, making him fantasize about forever with you—his future filled with you, and only you.

This is how you create a bond so profound that he’ll see you as “the one”—his soulmate. If you’re ready for a deeper, more meaningful relationship that lasts, you need to know these secrets. Watch Amy North’s free video here and unlock the path to his heart.

Frustrated with men?

Tired of dating guys who don’t appreciate or value you the way you deserve? You’re not alone in this struggle. But now is your time to take control. With the right tools, you can turn things around and have the relationship you’ve been dreaming of. Amy North’s Devotion System has transformed the love lives of countless women—helping them find, keep, and nurture deep, passionate relationships with men who adore them.

Are you ready for that kind of devotion? Watch the free video and start your transformation here.

Unlock the Secrets to His Heart and Finally Have the Love You Deserve

Modern dating is frustrating. Swiping left and right might seem fun, but all too often, it leads to disappointment, ghosting, or even worse—red flags you can’t ignore. What if there was a better way? What if you could bypass the games and finally connect with the perfect man—without all the drama, uncertainty, and wasted time?

Amy North’s Devotion System isn’t just another guide—it’s your blueprint to a fulfilling, lasting relationship. Whether you’re exhausted by men who don’t value you, or you’ve met someone amazing but want to deepen the bond, this system will help you get there. Watch Amy North’s free video here and discover how to build the relationship of your dreams.

A Personal Success Story

I know what you might be thinking: “Why should I trust this advice?” Let me share something personal. When I first met my girlfriend, I was instantly hooked. She had this magnetic energy, something different—like she could read me without saying a word. As we grew closer, I discovered that she had been using the Devotion System to change her approach to dating, and let me tell you—it worked.

We’ve been together for six months now, and I can honestly say it’s the happiest, most fulfilling relationship of my life. I’m still as crazy about her today as I was the first moment I laid eyes on her.

That’s the power of the Devotion System. It gave her the confidence, the insight, and the ability to create a relationship that’s deep, passionate, and lasting. If you’re ready to experience this kind of devotion in your love life, don’t wait. Watch Amy North’s free video here. You deserve a love that’s electrifying, lasting, and uniquely yours. Let the Devotion System show you the way.

This wildly popular program promises to tap into a man’s deepest emotional need—something Bauer calls the “hero instinct.” It promises to not only make him commit to you, but to make him crave you, deeply and unwaveringly. But does this program truly deliver on its tantalizing promise? Does it hold the secret to capturing his heart for life?

Let’s dive deep into what makes His Secret Obsession stand out—and whether it’s truly worth your time, effort, and emotions.

What is His Secret Obsession?

His Secret Obsession is a relationship roadmap designed by best-selling author and renowned relationship coach James Bauer. The core message of the guide revolves around a deeply primal concept—the “hero instinct”—a powerful force Bauer believes is the secret key to unlocking a man’s loyalty, passion, and love.

According to Bauer, every man is driven by an unconscious, burning desire to be a protector, to feel irreplaceable, to be a hero for the woman he loves. And once this hero instinct is activated, he’ll naturally gravitate toward you, become more affectionate, and form an unbreakable emotional connection. Without it, no matter how much he cares about you, he might feel adrift, unsure, and eventually distance himself.

This guide is packed with detailed strategies, word-for-word scripts, and powerfully designed text messages—all aimed at tapping into this hero instinct. Whether you’ve just started dating, are in a committed relationship, or trying to win back an ex, His Secret Obsession arms you with specific, laser-focused tools to reignite and deepen his attraction to you.

Who Is James Bauer?

James Bauer is not just another relationship coach—he’s a revered expert with over 12 years of experience working with couples, helping them decode the often mysterious intricacies of male psychology. His training as a psychologist, combined with his real-world coaching experience, gives him a unique understanding of what really makes men tick emotionally in romantic relationships.

Bauer’s philosophy is simple but profound: men need to feel like a protector, a provider, a hero. This is not about outdated gender roles; it’s about understanding deep, primal instincts that govern male behavior in love and commitment. For years, Bauer has guided countless women toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them how to access this core part of a man’s psyche—and His Secret Obsession is the culmination of that knowledge.

Is His Secret Obsession Worth It?

If you’ve been grappling with a man who seems emotionally distant, unsure of commitment, or has started to pull away, His Secret Obsession could be a game-changer. This isn’t about playing games or manipulation. It’s about understanding how to speak directly to the emotional needs men rarely voice but desperately crave.

The strategies outlined are designed to help you build a deeper connection by making your man feel genuinely needed, cherished, and irreplaceable. However, if you’re not looking for a long-term, committed relationship or aren’t ready to invest emotionally in understanding your partner’s deeper needs, this book might not be as beneficial.

For women who are serious about fostering a deeper emotional connection, though? His Secret Obsession offers practical, research-backed techniques that can start working almost instantly.

Who Is His Secret Obsession For?

This program is for women who:

• Want to strengthen or deepen the emotional connection with their man and inspire commitment.
• Have noticed their partner becoming distant, emotionally unavailable, or uninterested.
• Want to turn a casual dating situation into something serious and committed.
• Are looking to rekindle love and passion with an ex.
• Feel their man has a fear of commitment or is emotionally pulling away.

It’s also valuable for women who want to learn how to ensure they remain irreplaceable in their partner’s life by understanding and catering to his deeper emotional needs.

Who Shouldn’t Read It?

This guide isn’t for everyone. If you’re not looking for a serious, committed relationship or don’t want to invest the emotional energy into understanding the inner workings of your man’s heart, then this book might not be for you. It’s also not ideal for women who are in happy, thriving relationships and don’t feel the need for deeper connection strategies.

What’s Inside the Book?

His Secret Obsession is divided into three insightful parts:

1. Understanding the Hero Instinct: This section lays the foundation by explaining what the hero instinct is and why it is critical to a man’s emotional fulfillment. It dives deep into the male psyche, unraveling the mystery behind why men need to feel like a hero in their relationships to thrive.
2. How to Trigger the Hero Instinct: Here’s where it gets actionable. This part arms you with step-by-step strategies to activate your man’s hero instinct. From specific phrases and actions to subtle signals, Bauer provides you with practical tools to help your man tap into his natural desire to protect, provide, and cherish you.
3. Text Messages That Work: In this section, Bauer includes an array of power-packed text messages that can draw your man closer, reignite the spark, and deepen the emotional bond between you. Whether you’re trying to win back an ex, keep your relationship fresh, or take things to the next level, you’ll find precise, scenario-specific scripts here.

The Secret Signals—and How to Use Them

Throughout the book, Bauer introduces you to “signals” that can trigger the hero instinct. These signals are subtle yet incredibly powerful tools that communicate directly to a man’s subconscious, making him feel more connected to you on a primal level.

• The Glimpse Phrase: This phrase gives him a tantalizing preview of the amazing life you could build together, sparking his imagination and deepening his desire for a future with you.
• The Damsel in Distress Signal: This isn’t about playing weak—it’s about letting him step into his role as your protector, igniting his natural instinct to care for and cherish you.
• The Private Island Signal: This signal is designed to make him feel like he’s the only one who can fulfill your deepest needs, creating a powerful sense of exclusivity.

These signals, while subtle, create a powerful emotional response, making him feel needed, appreciated, and deeply connected to you.

What Does His Secret Obsession Cost?

Priced at $47, His Secret Obsession includes the main guide, additional bonus content, and a 60-day money-back guarantee. While it may seem higher than other relationship guides, the value lies in its depth and the powerful strategies you can immediately implement to transform your relationship.

My Favorite Part: The 12-Word Text That Changes Everything

One standout moment in the book is the story of Rachel, a woman whose man seemed emotionally distant. Bauer gave her a simple, 12-word text, and it completely flipped the script. Suddenly, the emotional connection was rekindled, and her man became deeply invested again.

This 12-word text is one of the program’s secret weapons—simple yet potent enough to reignite the spark and make him crave you like never before.

Pros of His Secret Obsession

• Practical, Actionable Strategies: This guide doesn’t just talk theory—it gives you tools you can start using right away.
• Backed by Psychology: Bauer’s approach is rooted in research, offering you reliable and effective techniques.
• Helps Build Lasting Connections: By tapping into the hero instinct, you’re not just building attraction—you’re fostering a lasting, meaningful bond.
• Instant Access: You can start implementing these strategies immediately with the digital download.

Cons of His Secret Obsession

• No Physical Book: If you prefer flipping through physical pages, this may be a downside—it’s available only in eBook and audio formats.
• Price: At $47, it’s pricier than some other guides, but given the value of the insights, it’s more than worth it.

Final Verdict: Is His Secret Obsession Worth It?

If you’ve been feeling the frustration of emotional distance or want to deepen your relationship in a way that feels effortless and natural, His Secret Obsession is your guide. James Bauer provides a clear, easy-to-follow roadmap to unlocking the emotional commitment and devotion of your man through the hero instinct.

With its compelling blend of practical strategies, psychological insight, and empowering language, His Secret Obsession is a must-read for any woman who wants to take her relationship to the next level—and capture her man’s heart for the long term.

Unlock your man’s hero instinct today and watch your relationship transform.

I was chased by a dog once. It was really scary. Being chased by a man sounds even scarier. I think I’d choose the bear. 

However, if you’re into psychology, here are some tips for how to make him hunger for you.

How to Make Him Chase You Using Male Psychology

I know, I know. What exactly is “male psychology”? Who knows. But there are certain ways a woman can appeal to a man’s psyche.

1. Make Him the Hero

If you want to get a guy to like you, then you need to trigger something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs.

What is it?

For a guy to really like you, he has to feel like your provider and protector. Someone that you genuinely admire.

In other words, he needs to feel like your hero.

I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

And I couldn’t agree more.

But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.

Men have a thirst for your admiration. They want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and provide for and protect her.

This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When it comes to a relationship, he needs to see himself as someone you genuinely want and need to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct. This term was coined by relationship psychologist James Bauer.

Now, you can’t trigger his hero instinct just giving him admiration next time you see him. Men don’t like receiving participation awards for showing up. Trust me.

A man wants to feel like he has earned your admiration and respect.

How?

There are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct.

And because no man can resist a woman who makes him feel like a hero, it’s worth learning a few of these things.

If you want to learn more about this powerful technique (from the man who invented it), then check out his short video here.

Top tip:

If you can trigger this instinct successfully, you’ll see the results immediately.

When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and interested in being in a committed relationship with you.

The hero instinct is a subconscious drive men have to gravitate toward people who make him feel like a hero. But it’s amplified in his romantic relationships.

Some ideas really are life-changing. And for romantic relationships, I think this is one of them.

That’s why I recommend watching this free online video where you can learn more about the hero instinct.

2. Be authentic

The idea of being “authentic” on a date when you’re nervous, sweating through the polyester dress you got on sale at TJ Maxx, and wondering if this one’s going to be threatened by your two PhDs like the last one was may not always fit into your evening like a leather glove. 

But that’s why you shouldn’t dwell on how you talk, breathe, or eat. When you’re paying more attention to those things, you’re bound to be weird. Instead, just be real. You certainly don’t want to act like someone you’re not and then have to put on that affectation every time you’re together.

Plus, he’ll notice, and he won’t want to come back for a second date.

To be authentic, you don’t have to fit the traditional ideology of “femininity” or look like an Instagram model. Instead, focus on having fun and being comfortable. Sure, you don’t want to show up in wrinkly pants and a top covered in Cheetos cheese, but be comfortable. If short skirts and leopard print aren’t you, don’t wear them. 

If short skirts and leopard print ARE you, girl, work it.

The key is to carry yourself with confidence, which is way easier if you’re not trying to pretend to like Marvel movies even though you think they’re all derivative and insipid. Confidence is hot, like a mystery that a man will want to find the secret to. He’ll want to keep coming back for more to learn what it is that makes you tick.

If you think authenticity will be hard for you because of your nerves, choose an activity that’s more engaging, such as an arcade, an art class, or a farmers market. That way it’s not up to just you to be the entertainment.

3. Create intrigue

As scholar and Oxford alum Theodore Zeldin opined, “Each person is an enigma.” If you want him to keep coming back for more, don’t give up all your secrets on the first date.

Keep him guessing to reinforce the chase as he yearns to know more about you. While you can still allow yourself to be vulnerable, you must keep certain aspects of your life and personality to yourself. You might laugh about it with your girls, but don’t reveal that you drool while you’re sleeping.

Let him discover it gently.

Drop hints about yourself but remain mysterious and unpredictable to keep him guessing; this will keep the spark alive. An aura of mystery creates curiosity about you and adds a thrill to the chase.

4. Have a good time

If you really want a guy to woo you, show him a good time. In no way am I implying you should invoke the “cool girl” trope. 

You know the cool girl. She “likes beer, junk food, and sports, usually described as typically male interests. She acts like a guy, but she still looks super hot.”^[1]

If you feel at any time like you need to invoke the cool girl, reread #1 on this list. But what you should try to do is let go of your inhibitions, your worries, your to-do list, and live in the moment. 

If your dating end game is to find THE ONE and settle down, well, not every guy you date is gonna be that guy. But you might as well have a good time while you’re finding him. If you’re having fun, odds are he is too. 

If he has fun with you once, he’ll want to again, especially when he feels your time and attention are fully devoted. 

5. Play hard to get

Playing “hard to get” is an age-old tactic that may have been overplayed — and the phrase overused — but the other extreme is throwing yourself at him. Also not a good look. It might be cliche, but “hard to get” might actually work.

A study from the University of Leicester found that men are more highly motivated by setting goals. The research showed that male participants with goals scored higher on arithmetic tests than those without goals.^[2]

Playing hard to get doesn’t mean being rude, of course. Don’t leave him on read or cancel dates willy-nilly. Just be busy sometimes — this keeps the man chase alive. Have a life. Don’t let your entire world revolve around this guy.

The key is to balance interest with a touch of challenge to keep him chasing a woman. And to forget that while researching this topic, I learned that most of the academic works were about men convicted of stalking who claimed the women they stalked were “playing hard to get.”

6. Maintain your independence

As if you need me to tell you to cling to your hard-won independence like Kanye West clings to his relevance. But this is actually key to keeping a man interested.

Don’t drop everything for him. He’ll notice and run the opposite direction. Even worse, doing so will endanger your self-identity and set you up for codependency.

Continue pursuing your dreams and hobbies, and don’t put them aside for him. You might feel like you finally found the yin to your yang, but don’t forget that your yang is already pretty fantastic.

7. Give him space

Remember: You want a man to chase you, not the other way around. So, make him miss you.

Avoid blowing up his phone while you’re apart — unless it’s an emergency of course. Give him time to miss you. Use this opportunity to do the things you’ve grown behind on because he recently made you watch a Survivor marathon.

If it’s killing you not to be with him, focus on something you can do for him. Plan his birthday party, learn to cook his favorite meal, go shopping for him and get him one of those flat caps that make him look like David Beckham.

If you feel like he’s taking more time alone than normal, respect his boundaries and take that time to reevaluate your own. When he sees that you’re capable of giving him space while valuing your own time and attention, he’ll realize you’re worth the man chase.

8. Get your sexy on

To get a man to chase you, you need to make him want you. Yeah, that way. Let him know you’re into him by turning on your sexy. Of course, sexy means different things to different people. 

Sexiness can mean being comfortable in your skin regardless of size, body shape, or those bags under your eyes that you suspect you inherited from your mom’s side of the family. It also means accepting your flaws and uniqueness, unless that includes keeping a tarantula as a pet. (J/K, you do you!)

Sexy also means demonstrating your intelligence and sense of humor. Encourage him to have thoughtful conversations that foster intimacy. Your willingness to listen actively, respond thoughtfully, and show genuine care makes him yearn to spend more time with you.

And if all that doesn’t tip him over the edge as fast as you’d like, girl, flaunt what you got. You didn’t work out so hard just to hide those sculpted arms in a loose-fitting shirt; show them off.

Yes, it’s true. Being sexy can also mean batting your eyelashes, crossing and uncrossing your legs, leaning over in that way that pushes your cleavage up just perfectly. You know the move.

Sexiness is a choose-your-own-adventure tactic to get a man chasing you. Sometimes it’s knowing the best Metallica albums, sometimes it’s a tramp stamp. What can I say, sexiness is in the eye of the beholder.

9. Make him jealous

Jealousy is a double-edged sword. Depending on the dynamics of a relationship, it can be either good or bad.

In fact, according to research published in SAGE Open, jealousy may have “several relationship-sustaining qualities. More specifically, jealousy is associated with greater love for the relationship partner, with feelings of being more ‘in-love’ with the partner, and with greater relationship stability.^[3]

In that respect, making him jealous might just lead him to acknowledge that you’re worthy of pursuit. Inspiring a moderate amount of jealousy can prove how emotionally invested he is in the relationship.

When you go out with his friends, enjoy their company and don’t miss a good chance to laugh at their jokes. This is a totally normal and harmless thing to do, but it’s likely to spark some jealousy, however subconscious.

Jealousy can evoke strong emotions, prompting him to confront his feelings and desires. This emotional activation can lead to a renewed passion and pursuit as he seeks to reaffirm his commitment.

10. Avoid contacting him

You can easily make a man chase you by going radio silent. You have probably heard about no-contact, one of the best reverse psychology techniques in the game of love. When you suddenly stop contacting him, it creates curiosity. He may wonder why you’re no longer reaching out and start to miss your attention.

Every minute you don’t contact him may drive him crazy, as he views your lack of contact as a challenge. It will portray you as a high-value woman, and he will feel compelled to “win” your attention back by pursuing you more actively. 

Use the no-contact time to focus on growing, becoming more confident and self-assured, qualities that make you even more attractive to him. It’s a win-win.

But don’t forget this is risky. A man who likes you but doesn’t want to play games may not take the bait. Play at your own risk.

11. Establish and enforce boundaries

Setting boundaries is one thing, but you need to enforce them to be irresistible. Whenever you feel he crosses any of your boundaries, make sure he knows. If you let everything slide, you might find yourself in the midst of a toxic relationship.

Setting boundaries is about self-respect. And self-respect is sexy AF. Respecting yourself makes you more attractive, prompting him to pursue you to demonstrate his respect and commitment. 

Men love to chase woman who knows her worth.

12 Speak his language

Have you tried to talk to him about how he feels about you? And does he avoid the topic like the plague?

The thing is that it’s not easy for men to share their feelings with you. Because his biology is working against him.

Why?

Male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.

That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings. The result can be confusion about what each other wants.

If you’ve ever been with an emotionally unavailable man before, blame his biology rather than him.

The thing is, to stimulate the emotional part of a man’s brain, you have to communicate with him in a way that he’ll actually understand.

Top tip:

I learnt about this from relationship expert Amy North. Click here to watch her excellent free video.

In her video, Amy North reveals exactly what to say to a man to make him want to commit to a deep and passionate relationship with you. These words work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.

If you want to learn science-based techniques to attract men and get them to commit to you, check out her free video here.

How to Keep Him Chasing You

When the tips above bear fruit and he can’t get enough of you, remember that the game of love isn’t over yet. You must keep him engaged. First, make quality time together a priority. Put away your devices and give each other your full attention when catching up. Avoid keeping phones at the dinner table to promote meaningful conversations and connection.

Schedule regular dates, even if it’s a home-cooked meal together. Continuing courtship keeps things feeling fresh. But at the same time, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and all that. Don’t develop a relationship that lets you smother each other.

When you do hang out, try new activities together, like a cooking class, paint night, or new hiking trail. Shared experiences strengthen bonding. Remember to stay spontaneous with a dash of surprises constantly up your sleeves, making him chase and keeping the excitement alive.

Speaking of sleeves, if you feel inspired to dress to kill and turn heads wherever you go, it can’t hurt. He’ll never want to keep his eyes off of you.

What Drives Men to Pursue Women

What drives men to pursue women can seem like a mystery. After all, men aren’t a monolith. They each have their preferences, likes, and dislikes. 

You might go around the world looking for what motivates men to chase a woman while stumbling over stereotypes and myths, all the while oblivious that it’s inside you. 

There it is; it’s embedded in your personality. Simple. So you don’t have to stay up all night trying to figure out how to make him chase you.

Physical attraction

We’re about to do it how they do on the Discovery Channel. An initial physical attraction, why perhaps not the first thing that makes a man interested, is key to keeping him interested. 

In fact, a study published in Sex Roles found that “males placed greater emphasis than females on physical attractiveness, and females placed greater emphasis than males on earning potential and expressiveness.”^[4]

Of course, what makes a man physically attracted to a woman could come down to anything from pheromones to eye color.

To tell if a man is attracted to you, look for dilated pupils, leaning in, angling his body toward yours, and laughing at your jokes. He might be fidgety or display other signs of nervousness. If he shows any of these signs, reciprocate and see what happens. 

You never know, it might be fireworks.

Emotional connection

An emotional connection is the building block for relationships. Men seek women who can foster that emotional bond and create a safe environment for them to be vulnerable and open up. Emotional intimacy helps to establish trust, which is essential to romantic connection.

Men will want more from a woman who seems to understand his emotions with empathy, making him chase the connection that feels rare and genuine. If you show a willingness to be vulnerable yourself and open yourself up to this connection, he won’t be able to get enough of you.

No, men are not emotionless robots programmed solely for physical pursuits. Beneath that rugged exterior (or the cozy sweatpants they wear at home) lies a deep yearning for connection. They’re gentle creatures deep down, occasionally prone to tripping over their feelings.

Respect and admiration

Men appreciate gestures of respect and admiration, and showing this will cause them to chase their woman to the end of the world. 

Compliment his taste in ties, admire his skill at grilling the perfect steak, or simply acknowledge his ability to change a tire in under five minutes. Trust me, he’ll be putty in your hands.

Of course, respect and admiration aren’t all about shallow platitudes. It’s also a way of life.

Respect means giving agency to your partner’s values, both his relationship values and his life values. Don’t belittle what’s important to him. Make sure you listen actively when he talks about that dude from work he hates, even if you’ve heard it a thousand times. 

When you respect your partner, you give them a safe space, and everyone loves that.

Affection and intimacy

When I talk about affection and intimacy, I don’t mean just sex, even if that’s part of it. I mean, anyone who’s seen Sex and the City knows you can have sex without affection, and vice versa.

But whether sex is included in the relationship or not, physical displays of affection are actually a crucial element to shooting Cupid’s arrow firmly into a man’s heart. 

A study across 37 countries found that affectionate touch, such as hugging and kissing, is closely associated with feelings of love and relationship satisfaction. The research indicates that frequent gestures of affectionate touch enhance emotional bonds.

Whether you’re pressing your thigh against his under the table or holding hands as you walk through the park, these little physical gestures add up to a big wallop of affection.

Conclusion

Oh, the thrill of the chase. Knowing that he can’t wait to see you or that he’s begging for the next hangout makes you feel valuable. As he invests more in the relationship, the deeper your connection becomes.

The best thing is that you don’t have to do anything extra to have a man to chase you. The chase is in his biology. All you have to do is stay confident, independent, and intriguing, all the while making it clear you’re interested too, and allow him space to do his thing. Then, rinse and repeat.

Interested in learning more topics about starting a relationship? Check out the link!

FAQs

What do guys think of girls who chase them?

What guys think of girls who chase them depends on the guy. They may think you’re bold and confident, and they may be flattered by your interest, with a boosted ego. However, it’s important to strike a balance so you don’t put him off. A little bit of subtlety goes a long way.

What text will make him chase you?

The text that will make a man to chase you has to be intriguing and mysterious or playful and flirty, with subtle hints to make him curious. Texts that encourage, compliment, or show appreciation are a sure way to pique his interest.

Do men prefer to chase?

Some men often tend to chase because it’s in their nature to chase and accomplish. They like how it makes them feel in control and often feel a sense of accomplishment when they win over a woman.

References

1. Larsson Säberg, O. J. (2022). She’s not like other girls; she is a cool girl: A qualitative study on the portrayal of female characters as the cool girl in films [Bachelor’s thesis]. Karlstad University.
   https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/record.jsf?pid=diva2%3A1678352&dswid=8667 ︎
2. Smithers, S. (2015, July 8). Men more likely to achieve targets if they are set goals. ScienceDaily.
   www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/07/150708072822.htm ︎
3. Attridge, M. (2013). Jealousy and relationship closeness: Exploring the good (reactive) and bad (suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy. SAGE Open, 3(1), 2158244013476054.
   https://doi.org/10.1177/2158244013476054 ︎
4. Sorokowska, A., Kowal, M., et al. (2023). Love and affectionate touch toward romantic partners all over the world. Scientific Reports, 13, 5497.
   https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-31502-1 ︎

Every message from a guy you’re into is exhilarating. That is, of course, until he stops texting, and you begin anticipating a text that never comes.  

You can complain to your friends, “We went from texting every day to nothing,” or you can discover what happened.

Key Takeaways

• If a guy suddenly stops texting, don’t immediately assume the worst. 
• Explanations can vary from he’s simply busy to he’s not very good at this.
• Whatever the reason, stay calm and don’t blow up his phone. 
• Prioritize yourself, and if he ghosts you, you’re better off without him.

Why Did He Stop Texting Me So Suddenly?

Stop your mind from doing a merry-go-round (not so merry) around worst-case scenarios. 

Explore these possible reasons for his radio silence.

1. He’s preoccupied

If you noticed that his texting has changed and he doesn’t seem as chatty as before, one possible reason could be that he’s busy. He may be in a situation that requires his full attention, like a presentation at work or caring for a sick family member.

While he should still make time for you, juggling work, family, and other responsibilities may have consumed his focus and energy. He may have forgotten to let you know that it would be hard for you to contact him at this time.

It’s also possible he’s going through some challenges and doesn’t feel it’s right to involve you. I mean, undergoing a colonoscopy or other intimate procedure isn’t the cutest thing to tell someone you’re seeing. 

However, if your intuition doesn’t agree with how he responds and it seems like you’re bothering him, there may be more going on than just a busy schedule; maybe he’s busy ignoring you.

2. He has poor communication skills

You started on a high note, but texting may not be his forte. Perhaps openly expressing feelings doesn’t come naturally to him, or maybe he came from a family that didn’t openly express their feelings or emotions.

Additionally, past relationships may have left him guarded after he confided his innermost thoughts only to get hurt, making vulnerability feel unsafe and leading to underdeveloped communication skills. 

Alternatively, it may not be his past but his gender that’s causing your affair’s armistice. 

You might have heard about men being from Mars and women from Venus, and such “worlds apart” distinctions may have a kernel of truth when it comes to communication. 

For example, a study by Kimbrough et al. tested how men and women differ in their communication habits, and the results revealed that women prefer texting more than men and use technology-based communication “in a more engaging way than men.”^[1] 

Unfortunately, your relationship may have ended before it began because communication is the lifeblood of relationships. That man has left you hanging like a yo-yo.

3. He’s testing your interest

It might sound feeble, but there’s always a chance he’s not texting anymore because he’s waiting to see how interested you are. It’s not something you said or didn’t say, but he’s wondering where he stands in the relationship.  

Testing your interest could be the case, particularly if he initiates the conversations, so he’s waiting to see how long it will take you to text him first. While sparking curiosity has its place, prolonged silence could be saying more, and you need to listen.

Don’t leave him to do all the legwork. If he’s suddenly stopped texting you after a garrulous prelude, maybe it’s not him; maybe it’s you. Reach out and see what happens. 

4. He’s afraid of commitment

Fear of commitment has way more to do with him than it does you. Fear of commitment is quite common, especially among men, when they feel a relationship is progressing (too fast). 

Fear of commitment, clinically known as gamophobia, is real and hinders people from enjoying genuine relationships. They live in constant anxiety and fear that the relationship may end, which leads them to push people they love away.

While it’s not completely clear what causes a fear of commitment, according to the Cleveland Clinic, those who come from divorced parents or have a history of heartbreak are more likely to exhibit this phobia.^[2]

The fact is he might have liked you but wasn’t ready to take the next step in the relationship. Don’t see it as a reflection of your worth as a partner but rather an opportunity for you to find someone who’s at the same stage of life as you.

5. He reconnected with someone else (his ex)

We’re all trying to make the best of this doomed space rock. Sometimes, that means giving up on something not in your best interest. Other times, it means returning to something you once left. 

If your floundering flame disappears off the face of the earth, you might search for clues that he’s reignited an old flame. If he mentioned that he’d just left a relationship or spoke excessively of his ex, read the signs. 

Don’t beat yourself up; it’s not your fault that they still have a connection. And don’t blame him either — unless, of course, he made a lot of promises to you. (There’s a word for that kind of guy, but I’m too classy to share it here.)

Just be happy for them. Remember, doomed space rock. Let them find happiness while they can.

6. He’s playing games

If you realize that his ghosting behavior doesn’t fit the “he’s busy” or “he’s testing you to see if you love him” narrative, he probably enjoys bringing games into relationships. The aim is to see you chase him as he dodges and have you think about him all the time.

Dating is confusing enough already; you don’t need mind games. 

Playing emotional games is a form of manipulation, and you don’t want to settle for someone who keeps pulling strings you can’t even see. That’s a one-way ticket to a toxic relationship.

The best tactic to win mind games is to not play.

7. He’s no longer interested

The reality that he’s no longer interested might be hurtful and confusing because he seemed really into you initially. Nobody wants to be ghosted — it sucks. 

The initial stages of a relationship are exciting as two people get to know each other. But once those initial sparks disappear and the smoke clears, sometimes there’s nothing left. When this happens, people lose interest. If he’s not leaving you enough clues or they’re unclear as to whether you should continue texting, check out this blog and find out if he wants you to stop texting him.

From this point, some men begin dry-texting and eventually stop texting altogether, hoping you get the hint and move on. He probably realized that your life goals, priorities, values, or interests don’t align and pulled back. 

Maybe you expressed that you want to advance your career and seek a promotion, but he’s a “work-life balance and more free time” kind of guy. That’s enough to make him stop texting and for you to appreciate knowing it this early in the relationship.

It doesn’t mean you aren’t an incredible person; you just might not be on the same wavelength.

Dating Advice: What to Do When He Stops Texting

Before you make any hasty moves you might regret, here are tips to help you deal with it and possibly break the cycle.

Reach out

If there’s no way to tell that he’s ignoring you or isn’t interested, put on your big-girl panties and get in touch with him. Reaching out can help you stop panicking or overthinking and clear the air. After all, communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

You might be relieved to learn he’s stuck at work or has a family emergency. Send a quick, fun message, and watch his reaction. When he responds, don’t be beside yourself with excitement or you’ll come across as clingy or needy. On the other hand, don’t be shy to seek clarification.  

If there’s no immediate response after a few days, follow the steps below. 

Stay calm

So you took a risk and reached out to him, unsure if he’d ignore you again, and he still hasn’t responded. As upsetting as that is, and as tempting as it might be to call him out for the silence, don’t. Give it some time. 

Be assured that he’ll text you back if he’s still interested in the relationship. Ignore the urge to go undercover, stalking his socials. His digital footprint might reveal a lot about his relationship status and routines, but if this is the way to know his whereabouts, he’s not worth your time or search history.

Maintain your confidence; you will need it to enter a new relationship.

Create distance

If it’s been a couple of days or weeks and you haven’t heard from him yet, it’s time to distance yourself emotionally. It’s easier than torturing yourself with endless questioning and guessing the answers. 

Richard Marx’s “Right Here Waiting” is nice soft rock music, but don’t make it your personal anthem. That’s sad.

And while being sad can be good for your aesthetic (we do love those chunky sweaters and messy buns), it’s not great for your physical health. 

According to research published in Brain, Behavior, and Immunity, there’s a relationship between negative emotions and heightened inflammation, with negative emotions contributing to long-term health risks and chronic illnesses. 

According to the study’s author, Dr. Megan Renna of the University of Southern Mississippi, “When not regulated properly, negative emotions can create biological wear and tear on the body that can increase risk for morbidity and mortality.^[3] 

The research further reveals that if one fails to regulate emotions such as anxiety, it can cause sickness even in physically healthy adults. 

Instead of texting his friends, stalking his socials, and chasing closure, protect yourself with some distance and retain your dignity.

Count your losses and be glad that, for once, the garbage takes itself out.

Block him

At this point, you’ve done everything you can. You’re no longer wondering why he stopped texting every day sweet nothings. All you want is to forget about him. If you’re still seeing his Insta stories or his relentless cat memes on Facebook, don’t hesitate to send him to the block list.

Blocking allows you to close that door fully and move on. It shuts out the temptation to check in on his social profiles or wait around for a possible text. It also helps you to realize the relationship is over. If he opts to stay out of sight, keep him out of mind and phonebook.

As famed Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho said, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”^[4] 

Prioritize your needs

Remain the high-value woman you are by not chasing someone who has made it clear he’s not interested in you. 

Instead, distract yourself by spending time with friends and family who support you. Surround yourself with people and activities that make you feel good about yourself. Dress up and go for drinks with your friends but remind yourself not to drunk-text him — you’ve come so far to fall back.

Trash-talk him with your most trusted friend if that makes you feel good. They’ll remind you why you deserve better. With time, you’ll realize that you miss him less each day.

Most importantly, you need time alone to reflect and review your personal boundaries, needs, values, and nonnegotiables. Think about what matters to you long-term in a partner and relationship. Don’t compromise your self-respect.

Conclusion

The dating pool can be fun until it’s quiet and cold, leaving you guessing why he hasn’t texted you or responded to your texts. 

The best-case scenario is that he’s busy and will text back once his hands are free. The worst scenario is that he’s playing games, in which case you should quietly exit the pool and take your blow-up unicorn with you. 

It’s OK to reach out for clarity. If he doesn’t respect you enough to respond, stay calm as you plot your exit — with your self-respect intact and on the hunt for someone who can treat you with the care and respect you deserve. 

Truth is, communication shouldn’t be rocket science. So hold that glass high as you toast to new beginnings that deserve you. 

Want more advice and tips about getting into a relationship? Check out our page here!

References

1. Kimbrough, A. M., Guadagno, R. E., Muscanell, N. L., & Dill, J. (2013). Gender differences in mediated communication: Women connect more than do men. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(3), 896–900.
   https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2012.12.005 ︎
2. Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Gamophobia (fear of commitment): Causes & treatment. Cleveland Clinic.
   https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22570-gamophobia-fear-of-commitment ︎
3. Renna, M. E. (2021). A review and novel theoretical model of how negative emotions influence inflammation: The critical role of emotion regulation. Brain, Behavior, & Immunity-Health, 18, 100397.
   https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbih.2021.100397 ︎
4. Coelho, P. (1993). The alchemist. HarperCollins. ︎

By: Marie McCollum

Time to spice it up.

“Never have I ever” is not just for middle school sleepovers, this classic game can reveal things about your partner that you never knew. 

You can play the traditional way (by putting a finger down) or try one of the many variations of this fun game, even spice things up. Either way, don’t rush. Let these prompts start deep or funny conversations or . . . other activities.

Table of Contents:

• Never Have I Ever Couple Questions
• Never Have I Ever Dirty Questions for Couples
• Conclusion

Best Never Have I Ever Questions for Couples

1. Never have I ever ghosted someone

2. Never have I ever given a fake number 

3. Never have I ever stolen something

4. Never have I ever lied to a friend about their appearance 

5. Never have I cheated on a test

6. Never have I ever pretended to be allergic to something I didn’t like (food, animals, etc.)

7. Never have I ever lied on a dating profile

7. Never have I ever had an imaginary friend

8. Never have I ever cried because of a children’s movie (as an adult)

9. Never have I ever had a crush on an animated character 

10. Never have I ever argued with a stranger online

11. Never have I ever sent a celebrity a direct message

12. Never have I ever lied about my music taste 

13. Never have I ever confessed my feelings to a crush

14. Never have I ever had a fake ID

15. Never have I ever done FBI-level research on a stranger

16. Never have I ever spied on an ex’s new partner online

17. Never have I ever been arrested 

18. Never have I ever broken a bone

19. Never have I ever physically hurt a sibling (intentional or accidental)

20. Never have I ever received a speeding ticket

21. Never have I ever given a fake name to a stranger

22. Never have I ever lied to get in somewhere (club, hospital, restaurant, etc.) 

23. Never have I ever skipped to the end of a book

24. Never have I ever accidentally sent someone a text about them

25. Never have I ever forgotten a close friend’s or family member’s birthday

26. Never have I ever crashed a party

27. Never have I ever been betrayed by a close friend

28. Never have I ever regretted quitting a job or class

29. Never have I ever traveled abroad 

30. Never have I ever been skydiving 

31. Never have I ever been on a blind date

32. Never have I ever had an irrational fear

33. Never have I ever lied to my manager

34. Never have I ever pretended to like something for a partner 

35. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo

36. Never have I ever spontaneously cut or colored my hair 

37. Never have I ever snuck out of my parents’ home

38. Never have I ever pretended I did not forget a promise 

39. Never have I ever regifted a gift

40. Never have I ever fluently spoken another language

41. Never have I ever performed before an audience

42. Never have I ever failed a class

43. Never have I ever been stood up

44. Never have I ever been on a road trip 

45. Never have I ever been kicked out of a bar or restaurant 

46. Never have I ever been in a physical fight

47. Never have I ever smoked (cigarette, cigar, etc.) 

48. Never have I ever kept a big secret from a family member

49. Never have I ever pretended not to know someone who said they knew me

50. Never have I ever played an instrument 

51. Never have I ever betrayed a friend

52. Never have I ever wrote a love letter

53. Never have I ever lied about my age

54. Never have I ever sleepwalked

55. Never have I ever cried in public 

56. Never have I even gone on a solo vacation 

57. Never have I ever had surgery

58. Never have I ever broken a law

59. Never have I ever drunk dialed someone

60. Never have I ever cheered for a sports team to impress someone

61. Never have I ever been to Europe

62. Never have I ever refused to watch or read something solely because it’s popular

63. Never have I ever lied for a friend

64. Never have I ever watched a shared show without my partner

65. Never have I ever pretended to like someone

66. Never have I ever been on a roller coaster

67. Never have I ever held a baby

68. Never have I ever been to the ocean

69. Never have I ever skied or snowboarded

70. Never have I ever seen a shooting star

71. Never have I ever run a race 

72. Never have I ever had braces

73. Never have I ever been heartbroken 

74. Never have I ever had a surprise party thrown for me

75. Never have I ever had a piercing anywhere but my ears

76. Never have I ever been in an ambulance

77. Never have I ever cheated on a partner

78. Never have I ever been cheated on

79. Never have I ever lived outside of the country 

80. Never have I ever been camping

81. Never have I ever met a celebrity 

82. Never have I ever won an award

83. Never have I ever done karaoke 

84. Never have I ever traveled to more than 20 states

85. Never have I ever pretended a friend’s baby was cute

86. Never have I ever snooped around a friend’s house

87. Never have I ever had a wardrobe malfunction in public

88. Never have I ever thrown up in public

89. Never have I ever called the cops on someone 

90. Never have I ever hit a parked car

91. Never have I ever had a crush on a friend’s sibling

92. Never have I ever snooped through a partner’s phone

93. Never have I ever blamed a mistake on someone else

94. Never have I ever watched a reality show

95. Never have I ever laughed at an inappropriate time

96. Never have I ever said “I love you” first

97. Never have I ever flirted to get something for free

98. Never have I ever waited tables

99. Never have I ever lost a bet

Best Never Have I Ever Dirty Questions for Couples

1. Never have I ever said the wrong name during sex

2. Never have I ever joined the “Mile High Club”

3. Never have I ever performed a striptease

4. Never have I ever kissed someone on the first date

5. Never have I ever faked an orgasm 

6. Never have I ever had sex in my childhood bedroom

7. Never have I ever attempted a sexual act while my partner was driving a car

8. Never have I ever been caught getting it on

9. Never have I ever had a threesome 

10. Never have I ever made out with a stranger

11. Never have I ever broke a piece of furniture during sex

12. Never have I ever been walked in on by my parents during sex

13. Never have I ever had a sex dream about a celebrity

14. Never have I ever had sex in a public bathroom 

15. Never have I ever been handsy in a body of water (ocean, pool, etc.)

16. Never have I ever had sex in public (even if hidden)

17. Never have I ever slept with a friend’s ex

18. Never have I ever left a hickey on someone

19. Never have I ever caught someone having sex

20. Never have I ever lied about what I like in bed

21. Never have I ever gotten an injury from sex

22. Never have I ever been blindfolded during sex

23. Never have I ever used a sex toy

24. Never have I ever had sex with someone else in the room (asleep or awake)

25. Never have I ever scheduled sex with a partner

26. Never have I ever had a one-night stand

27. Never have I ever slept with an ex’s friend

28. Never have I ever sent a nude or sexy picture to someone

29. Never have I ever eaten something off of someone

30. Never have I ever received a sexy picture

31. Never have I ever done role-play in bed

32. Never have I ever flirted with a teacher

33. Never have I fantasized about a celebrity 

34. Never have I ever been turned on just by someone’s voice 

35. Never have I ever searched spicy sex positions

36. Never have I ever had sex with a virgin 

37. Never have I ever been given a dirty nickname

38. Never have I ever called someone a spicy nickname

39. Never have I ever read erotica 

40. Never have I ever tried a position from the Kama Sutra

41. Never have I ever had a friend with benefits

42. Never have I ever hooked up with someone 10+ years older than me

43. Never have I ever hooked up with someone 5+ years younger than me

44. Never have I ever had phone or video call sex

45. Never have I ever had multiple orgasms 

46. Never have I ever used a dirty pickup line

47. Never have I ever given a name to a partner’s genitals

48. Never have I ever sexted someone 

49. Never have I ever given a lap dance

50. Never have I ever sent someone a juicy text while we were out in public together

51. Never have I ever had sex more than three times within a day 

52. Never have I ever made a sexy playlist 

53. Never have I ever had sex in a bed that wasn’t mine, my partner’s, or a hotel’s

54. Never have I ever tried 69 with someone

55. Never have I ever tried anal sex

56. Never have I ever woken up a roommate or family member with sex noises 

57. Never have I ever been handsy on the dance floor

58. Never have I ever sent a nude picture to the wrong person

59. Never have I ever christened every room in a house 

60. Never have I ever had a quickie on a lunch break

61. Never have I ever accidentally called someone while getting it on

62. Never have I ever gone commando 

63. Never have I ever fantasized about a partner while at work 

64. Never have I ever pleasured myself in front of a partner

65. Never have I ever had shower sex

66. Never have I ever hooked up with someone I met at a wedding

67. Never have I ever undressed someone without using my hands

68. Never have I ever touched someone under a table in public

69. Never have I ever made out in an elevator 

70. Never have I ever hooked up with a colleague 

71. Never have I ever used ice cubes in the bedroom

72. Never have I ever sexually teased someone on purpose

73. Never have I ever planned an erotic date night 

74. Never have I ever acted out a sexy scene from a book or movie

75. Never have I ever had sex in a costume 

76. Never have I ever tried tantric sex

77. Never have I ever been to a strip club

78. Never have I ever attempted my fantasy with a partner

79. Never have I ever worn holiday-themed lingerie (Christmas, Halloween etc.)

80. Never have I been to a nude beach

81. Never have I ever flashed someone

82. Never have I been skinny-dipping 

83. Never have I ever participated in someone’s fetish or fantasy

84. Never have I ever been hot and heavy in the back of a taxi or Uber

85. Never have I ever crushed on more than one person at the same time

86. Never have I ever had sex in a hot tub

87. Never have I ever had sex somewhere “taboo”

88. Never have I ever had sex in the woods

89. Never have I ever used a household item in the bedroom

90. Never have I ever had sexy pictures taken of me

91. Never have I ever had sex in my place of work

92. Never have I ever fallen asleep during sex

93. Never have I ever lied about my sexual experiences

94. Never have I ever hooked up in a movie theater

95. Never have I ever had sex within earshot of a family member

96. Never have I ever had sex on a balcony 

97. Never have I ever taught someone what I like in bed

98. Never have I ever made a sex tape

99. Never have I ever had sex on the kitchen counter

100. Never have I ever performed a sexual act while my partner was on a call

Conclusion

It’s amazing how much a little game can reveal. 

Games such as “never have I ever” can deepen the intimacy between new and even veteran couples. Asking obscure or sexy prompts allows you and your partner to share the story behind the answer. 

And when the conversation is done, try one of those spicy things you’ve never done. 

Want to discover more about tips and advice about being in a relationship? Visit our page here!

You’re scared of being hurt, rejected, confused, or not being available when Chris Hemsworth rolls into town, and yet deep down you want a relationship. 

It’s common to fear falling in love, especially with dating terms like haunting, ghosting, and zombieing being bandied about the internet willy-nilly. Makes dating sound like a horror movie. 

If you’re determined to explore love and relationships, you need to get to the bottom of your fear of love.

Key Takeaways

• Fear of relationships is common, particularly after past experiences of hurt or disappointment.
• Identifying the roots of your fear (rejection, loss of independence, etc.) is crucial for overcoming it.
• Self-love and practicing vulnerability in small ways will build the foundation for deeper connections.
• Realistic expectations and open communication are key to healthy, lasting relationships.

1. Your Past Experiences Hurt You

If you have been hurt by a significant other, especially in a toxic relationship, you’re always going to be wary of it happening again, always afraid of getting hurt again. 

It feels like you may never trust anyone with your heart again. Feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred, humiliation, and powerlessness are exhausting, and they’re hard to shake.

According to the book Interpersonal Rejection, “Betrayal is devastating because it disrupts an ongoing, meaningful relationship in which partners have invested material and emotional resources.”^[1] Therefore, you avoid situations that you fear could produce the same result.

It’s important to learn from these past experiences instead of letting them control you. Take back your power. According to Dray Salcido of the Healthy Human Project, we need to know why we are afraid before we can deal with our fear. She says, “Owning our fear and seeking to understand it gives us back our power.”^[2]

So look back on the bad experiences and use them. Think about your good experiences as well as your bad ones. Write it down, even. What worked, and what didn’t? Identify the red flags you may not have noticed at the beginning. 

You can use all of this to grow and shape your future.

2. You Struggle With Low Self-Esteem

Comparing yourself to others, feeling insecure, constantly worrying, and nursing negative thoughts about yourself are all signs of low confidence. If you have strong feelings of dislike toward yourself, you might find it hard to believe that anyone else could love you.

But you should be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to one thing that fills your soul every day, be that a nice bubble bath, a bar of chocolate, a glass of wine, or lunch with a friend. 

Exercise is also a great way to make yourself feel good. A two-year study published in the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology showed a correlation between increased physical activity and improvements in how the participants felt about themselves. 

Author of the study Steriani Elavsky notes that “middle-aged women can enhance how they perceive their condition and body attractiveness by continued participation in physical activity.”^[3] 

You can build your confidence higher by setting goals and achieving them. 

I’m not talking about climbing Everest here. Small challenges work too. 

Join a new class, a book club, or a walking group. It may be a little scary at first, but you’ll be proud of yourself for doing it. 

Your comfort zone is comfortable, yes, but that doesn’t mean you should live there. My sofa is comfortable but if I stayed on it forever I’d fuse to the cushions.

Therapy can also help you learn to love who you are. A study at the Research Clinic for Holistic Medicine in Copenhagen found that over half of participants improved their self-esteem after 20 sessions of therapy.^[4] 

Therapy can be intimidating, but it’s like going to the gynecologist — they’ve seen it all a million times, they’re professionals, and they won’t be shocked.

3. You Fear Losing Your Independence

Maybe your fear isn’t that deep — you like your me time and you don’t want someone blundering along and disrupting it. After all, spending time with people can be draining, especially for introverts.

Then again, it might go a little deeper than this. 

Women who were raised by controlling and overbearing parents are more likely to be self-reliant and perhaps even afraid to lose that hard-won independence to a relationship, according to the experts at Psychology Today.^[5]

Independence might be especially significant to you if you’re a woman with a good career and financial freedom. Starting a family is lovely, if that’s what you want, but the thought of giving your career up, or losing it involuntarily, is terrifying. 

No one wants to go back to the days of traditional heterosexual relationships where the man worked and the woman was dependent on him. She couldn’t even have a credit card in her name.

It’s not the 1950s anymore. Your relationship can be different. You can bury yourself in credit card debt if you want to. (Please don’t.)

Keeping your alone time and your financial freedom is important, and doable. You need to know your boundaries, set them, and make sure that you choose a person who respects them. Walk your own path, speak your own mind, and make sure that you do at least some socializing without your partner. 

You can have your me time, your friends, and your date nights, as well as your career and your bank account, and your partner can have theirs too. 

Life is all about balance, and so are healthy relationships. 

4. You Worry About Repeating Unhealthy Patterns

Parents can really F you up. If you were raised around toxic, abusive, or otherwise dysfunctional relationships, you may be afraid of repeating the unhealthy patterns that were so normal to you growing up. But you can break these cycles if you are aware of them and conscious of your own behavior. 

Communication is important. Talk about your experiences, how you feel, what you want from life, from your partner and your relationship. It’s completely normal to set reasonable expectations from your partner. A person who won’t respect your clear and healthy boundaries is not the person for you.

Don’t be afraid to argue. Arguments don’t have to – and shouldn’t – involve screaming and name-calling (somebody please tell my ex). They should be constructive, not destructive. 

Once you have respect for yourself and others, you can have respectful and constructive disagreements. Mindfulness and therapy can help if you struggle with conflict.

5. You Have Unresolved Trust Issues

A lack of trust makes relationships particularly difficult. If you find it hard to trust others, the mere idea of a relationship can seem extra scary.

Possible causes for trust issues can include trauma, rejection in your childhood, and experiences from your past relationships.

People who were raised in toxic families will find it more difficult to trust others, and people who were repeatedly abused sexually in their childhood will find trusting others particularly hard. 

According to an article published in the journal Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, this devastating betrayal, understandably, messes with one’s ability to figure out who can be trusted.^[6]

Your past experiences may have shown you that people, in general, are untrustworthy. Someone in your past smashed your rose-tinted glasses and now you look at others with suspicious eyes. 

Learning to trust again is difficult. And it’s even harder to do it on your own, as Dr. Judith L. Herman, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, explains in Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences.

She says, “Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation.” You need to develop emotional connections with others to rebuild and repair your feelings of trust.^[7]

There are ways to build trust in relationships, though, if you have decided to trust again. You need to be open and honest and expect (and get) the same in return. It’s essential that both parties openly discuss their feelings and expectations. 

You can’t learn to trust a person if you expect them to let you down. If you often find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop, it might be worth exploring therapy to help you resolve the lingering emotional trauma. 

6. You Have a Fear of Commitment

It’s been said that women who maintain their own surname after marriage do so because they’re afraid of commitment. Now, you and I know this assumption is nonsense. What’s not nonsense is the notion that women can fear commitment as much as men.

If you’re determined to work through your fear of commitment and get into a relationship, maybe even fall in love, acknowledge how afraid you are and try to pin down the reason. If you don’t work through your fear, you risk pushing away people that you care about. 

After all, a fear of commitment is truly a fear of intimacy. Every new relationship requires a modicum of vulnerability, and since you don’t want to be vulnerable, you avoid relationships altogether. 

I would say try not to think about the future, but that’s silly. Everyone thinks about what their future might look like. You should try not to worry about the future though. Instead, just enjoy the present. If you decide to commit to a relationship, look to the future with hope instead of trepidation.

7. You Have Unrealistic Expectations

Watching The Lord of the Rings too many times may have caused you to hold your prospective partners to a high standard, but you need to remember that Aragorn is a fictional character and you will probably find it difficult to meet someone like that in real life. 

Let me make one thing clear: Women should have high standards. You deserve to be treated like the queen you are. 

But you must avoid impossible standards. 

While it is good to want a high-value man, you can’t expect perfection. If you expect your partner to be perfect, and they aren’t, because that’s not a thing, your relationship will eventually descend into resentment and bitterness — on both sides. 

Nobody can look good all the time, always be the perfect host, never be ill, or always want to have sex when you want to. We are only human, after all, and we should be loved for who we are. 

To develop a healthy relationship you should keep your expectations realistic. That way, you won’t be disappointed and your partner won’t be under any pressure to be something they aren’t — like heir to the throne of Gondor.

8. You’re Not Ready for a Relationship

More and more women are choosing the single life. According to a report from Wells Fargo, 52% of women were single as of 2021. In fact, “with women pushing back marriage or forgoing it altogether, the number of never married women has grown 20% over the past decade.”^[8] 

Women don’t have to marry any more for fear of being left destitute, now that we are “allowed” to have personal bank accounts and own land, thank you very much.

If you’re not ready to start a relationship, don’t force yourself. You should be in the right place in your life before you invite another person to share that life with you. If you’re not ready, you’ll get scared, or worse, get hurt.

You can dip your toes in, go on a few dates, have some fun, if you like. But focus on yourself, for the most part. Concentrate on your career, work toward your goals. Travel the world, visit Machu Picchu, see the northern lights with your friends. 

When you’re ready to settle down, you’ll know.

9. You’re Afraid of Vulnerability

It’s hard to open up when you are afraid to be vulnerable. Putting your heart on the line takes inner strength and confidence, which can be hard to come by. 

An article from Cyprus Turkish Journal of Psychiatry & Psychology explains, “In relationships, vulnerability is when an individual lets another person see their inner world.”^[9]

Once you open up to someone, they will open up to you, if they haven’t done so already. This will make you feel more connected to each other and help you build trust, intimacy, and a meaningful bond. 

The more you know a person, the more you can grow with them. Being your honest and authentic self is extremely important in the development and maintenance of a relationship, and engaging in intimate conversations can bring you closer together.

To be vulnerable with others, you first need to know yourself and be aware of your own emotions. Therapy and/or journaling can help you take control of your thought patterns and insecurity, if necessary. 

Talk about your feelings with others by telling them what you’re afraid of, what makes you angry, or even what makes you happy. You can do this in baby steps, but you have to start somewhere. 

10. You’ve Witnessed Difficult Relationships

With the divorce rate what it is, we’ve all witnessed some dismal, doomed relationships. Watching from the outside while a couple deteriorates is not fun. They’re unhappy, they resent one another, and they both feel trapped, and yet they hold on and hold on until they’re both broken (and in many cases — broke). 

This could instill a fear of love in anyone.

But these bad relationships are not signs to you from the universe, they’re simply people who shouldn’t be together but won’t let go. Your relationships don’t need to be the same as the ones around you. Learn from the failing relationships you have seen. You can learn and grow by observing other people’s mistakes, as well as your own.

When love comes around for you — and it will — you’ll be better off for watching these difficult relationships, not worse. 

11. You’re Unsure of What You Want

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for in a partner, but you definitely want to find love, why not just have fun during the search? Date date date, and then date some more. You’ve gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

It’s normal to be unsure when you’re searching for someone to spend your life with.

Start by exploring your own values. Not only your values in a relationship, but your life values. What’s important to you? By knowing yourself, you can know what you want in a partner.

You might want to be wined and dined or backpack around the world. Maybe you want someone who will be a stay-at-home parent, or someone who is sensible and financially stable. 

Writing a list may seem terribly unromantic, but it’s a good way to get your thoughts in order. Things like whether or not you want to have a family, and if so, how many children you would like. You might want dogs in your life — of course — so someone who hates animals won’t be ideal for you. If you have a preference for country or city living, write that down too. 

But don’t forget that opposites attract. You may collect this list of things you want in your prince but then a frog comes and lights a fire within you. Just go with it!

12. You Fear Losing Yourself in a Relationship

You might fear that your new relationship will swallow you whole, that you will lose your sense of self if you become part of a couple (or throuple, whatever you’re into) but there are ways to make sure that doesn’t happen. When you know who you are and what you want from life, and feel secure in your morals and values, this sense of identity isn’t going to be easily lost.

Embrace your hobbies and other things in your life that you’re passionate about, and don’t let them go by the wayside when you enter a relationship. Have this discussion as soon as you level up a relationship so you can manage your partner’s expectations.

You may find someone who shares your interests, and you two can have a world of adventure together. But we all know that opposites sometimes attract, so you could fall in love with someone who has completely different pastimes, which you should both keep pursuing separately. 

13. You Fear Rejection

Being pushed away is a dreadful feeling. If you’ve ever experienced rejection, it’s totally understandable that you’d want to avoid it. Once bitten, twice shy.

This fear, however, makes it difficult to have deep connections with people. 

According to an article in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, sharing how we feel could go either way. Authors Joel et al. say, “For example, sharing an intimate thought with a friend carries the potential for both connection (if the friend responds with validation) and rejection (if the friend responds with disapproval).”^[10] 

If we aren’t sure our feelings will be validated, if we are afraid of rejection, we will probably not share them at all.

The fear of rejection will be ever-present as long as you feel that you are not worth loving. This can be overcome if you work to grow your sense of self-worth, with therapy and building your self-confidence. 

You should challenge negative thoughts. If you think someone will reject you, think about whether that fear is based on what you know about that person, or past experiences. You might think you should trust your gut, but an anxiety disorder can make our guts lie to us.

You should also come to terms with the fact that being rejected is not the end of the world. Just think of what you have to gain if you aren’t rejected. It might just be the beginning of a beautiful love story.

14. You Have an Anxiety Disorder

About 16% of American adults have anxiety of some type and degree.^[11] Generalized anxiety disorder, which manifests as constant worry, can mean you’re also scared of many types of relationships, including romantic ones.

Anxiety might cause you to be scared to get into a committed relationship for many reasons, including the development of an unhealthy attachment style. Stress and anxiety can cause us to cocoon ourselves in a protective layer within our comfort zones. When we control everything around us, we shut people out. We don’t get hurt. There’s no one to worry about. 

But when there’s no one to worry about, there’s no one to love. And I don’t doubt that you have a lot of love to give. Yes, you want to be alone, but finding someone you love can be so much better than control.

Mental health professionals, such as those who practice cognitive behavioral therapy, can help you get control of your mental health issues. You don’t have to let anxiety and depression stop you from trying to find love.

Conclusion

If you fall off your bicycle and scrape your knee, you don’t give up cycling. You’d miss the wind in your hair, the world rolling by, the seat up your butt . . .  You can just wear kneepads in future. 

It’s the same with relationships. 

If you’re afraid of love, explore ways to prevent that hurt from happening. Wear the kneepads of love, if you will. You might fall off the bike again, but your knees will be safe next time.

Looking to explore more topics about starting a relationship? Check our page here.

FAQs

Why do I feel so scared to be in a relationship?

You feel so scared to be in a relationship either because you can’t trust anyone, you fear heartbreak and rejection, or you value your independence. Exploring the reasons why you’re afraid of love and intimacy can help you move forward into a real relationship.

Can you have a successful relationship if you’re afraid of love?

Yes, you can have a successful relationship if you’re afraid of love, but it’s going to take some work. Both parties need to be open about how they feel and get vulnerable with one another. You need a partner who will be supportive and understanding of your needs and your fears.

How do I know if my fear of relationships is holding me back?

You know if your fear of relationships is holding you back when you feel stuck in a cycle of relationships that go wrong or you sabotage the relationship and push him away. Practicing self-awareness may give you a chance to break this cycle.

References

1. Fitness, J. (2001). Betrayal, rejection, revenge, and forgiveness:
An interpersonal script approach. In Leary, M. (Ed.) Interpersonal rejection (pp. 73–103). Oxford University Press.
http://www.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/392F-%2706/FitnessBetrayal.pdf

2. Salcido, D. (2020, January 11). Afraid to connect. Healthy Human Project.
https://www.healthyhumansproject.com/category/love-me/page/9/

3. Elavsky, S. (2010). Longitudinal examination of the exercise and self-esteem model in middle-aged women. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, 32(6), 862–880.
https://doi.org/10.1123/jsep.32.6.862

4. Ventegodt, S., Thegler, S., Andreasen, T., Struve, F. ,Enevoldsen, L., Bassaine, L., Torp, M., & Merrick, J. (2006). Self-reported low self-esteem: Intervention and follow-up in a clinical setting. The Scientific World Journal, 7, 299–305.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1100/tsw.2007.88

5. Zarrabi, R. (2023). How the fear of losing independence impacts relationships. Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/mindful-dating/202303/how-the-fear-of-losing-independence-impacts-relationships

6. Gobin, R. L., & Freyd, J. J. (2014). The impact of betrayal trauma on the tendency to trust. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 6(5), 505.
https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=e175c7f6e89c691f6b2c9b05ad92a2ecb5fd99a2

7. Herman, J. L. (1998). Recovery from psychological trauma. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 52(S1), S98-S103.
https://doi.org/10.1046/j.1440-1819.1998.0520s5S145.x

8. House, S., Seery, S., Cervi, N., & Kohl, J. (2023, March 8). Party of one:
How single women stack up in the U.S. economy. Wells Fargo.
https://externalcontent.blob.core.windows.net/pdfs/7a16f5a8-b531-403c-bb1e-ed14d5cbd8b2.pdf

9. Bakshi, A., & Ansari, S. A. (2022). The key role of vulnerability in developing authentic connections in romantic relationships. Kıbrıs Türk Psikiyatri ve Psikoloji Dergisi, 4(1), 103–109.
https://doi.org/10.35365/ctjpp.22.1.11

10. Joel, S., Plaks, J. E., & MacDonald, G. (2019). Nothing ventured, nothing gained: People anticipate more regret from missed romantic opportunities than from rejection. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(1), 305–336.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517729567

11. Terlizzi, E. P., & Villarroel, M. A. (2020). Symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder among adults: United States, 2019. NCHS Data Brief No. 378.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db378.htm

Expectations are basically the realistic standards you set with your partner. And everyone has different expectations for their relationship.

Still, there are a few universal values you should expect your partner — and you! — to prioritize and maintain.

Let’s explore healthy expectations and must-haves you should look for to nurture a relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• Set realistic expectations like trust, loyalty, passion, and maturity early on in your relationship.
• Both partners must actively work on managing and adjusting these expectations over time.
• Unrealistic expectations in a relationship can lead to disappointment and resentment. 
• If someone disregards your values and expectations, stand firm and prioritize yourself.

10 Healthy and Reasonable Expectations in a Relationship

1. Love and affection

Love means feeling deeply connected and devoted to someone, while affection is showing those emotions physically and presently. 

It doesn’t mean buying expensive gifts or going on VIP getaways. Though, let’s be honest, no one ever says “no” to that.

Love doesn’t fade away with time or crash and burn like infatuation does. It’s persistent and persevering. You know the old saying, “Love conquers all.”

Affection is the language of the heart, how we express love, spoken through gestures that show companionship, care, and physical attraction.

Everyone loves and shows love in their own way. It could be making coffee for each other after a late night out, dancing in the kitchen while the curry simmers, or just enjoying each other’s presence after a long day.

What doesn’t vary is the human need for love and affection. 
Dr. Ami Rokach of York University in Toronto writes in the Journal of Psychology,

Research has long demonstrated that humans need love, and when that love is provided it boosts personal wellbeing, as well as increased relational satisfaction. Moreover, similarity between couples’ values and emotional experiences seem to get the couple closer to each other.^[1]

So, first and foremost, you should expect your partner to treat you with love, and to show that love through both small and grand gestures of affection.

2. Trust

Trust means expecting your partner to be reliable and honest and doing so in return. It’s a firm belief that lets you peacefully close your eyes, cocooned in your partner’s embrace, knowing you’re secure enough to be completely vulnerable and loved.

Trust means not feeling the need to hide anything from your partner, even your flaws and fears. It’s having faith that your partner won’t ditch you for some random hot glamazon. 

Researchers Teoh et al. explain in the Journal of Human Development and Communication that trust is essential for fostering positive emotions, which are vital for mental health and achieving a fulfilling life. The study suggests that integrating trust with other elements like love and commitment can significantly improve our understanding of how romantic relationships contribute to well-being.^[2]

Without trust, your relationship won’t stand the test of time. It is the essential expectation that holds everything together in a relationship.

3. Passion and intimacy

If love is melody, passion and intimacy are lyrics that bring it to life. People tend to expect a relationship brimming with at least a modicum of passion and intimacy.

Passion’s intensity keeps you interested in the relationship. To love someone is common, but to love passionately is a true gift.

Your expectation might include a partner who can make your heart skip a beat with a tender touch or smoldering glance. Think of the kind of connection where they are your very own Mr. Darcy — brooding and mysterious but full of charm and decency.

How seamlessly your partner expresses that attraction and passion without making you feel uncomfortable or crossing your boundaries will encourage the intimacy necessary to give passion a home in your relationship.

Researchers Lankveld et al. report in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, “In both male and female partners in romantic, long-term relationships, higher levels of intimacy are associated with higher sexual desire, which is, in turn, associated with higher odds for partnered sexual activity to occur.”^[3]

Passion and intimacy go hand in hand. It’s almost impossible to have one without the other in a happy relationship.

4. Loyalty and support

Among some of the most important expectations in relationships are loyalty and support. 

A loyal partner remains emotionally invested and makes choices that help your relationship grow solid. They stand by your side in good times and bad, respecting your feelings, and keeping them safe as the relationship grows.

A good partner will support you through the good times and bad. Driving next to you down a deserted highway while you train for a marathon or helping you open up a vegan restaurant despite being a meat lover — your expectations should include support along the way and loyalty after you get there.

There’s a moment in the book Iron Flame when Xaden reveals a life-threatening secret to Violet. He predicts it will take “all of a heartbeat” for her to fall out of love with him once he tells her. And his secret is a doozy. But does she reject him once she knows his secret? No. “My love isn’t fickle,” she tells him.^[4] Loyalty. 

Of all the standards and expectations one should hold their partner to, nothing beats loyalty.

5. Appreciation

Appreciation is the true testament of how much your partner values your presence in their life. A loving glance or a post-it on the bathroom mirror can make you feel truly seen and strengthen your bond.

Expect them to value both the little and big things you do to keep your relationship vibrant. You deserve someone wrapping their arms around you from behind as you do the dishes and planting a soft kiss on your cheek, saying “You’re amazing.”

Or maybe they’ll surprise you with your favorite wine just because — no special occasion needed — they get how much you do for them, instead of expecting you to fetch their drinks while they’re lost in the latest House of the Dragon episode, with nary a thank you in sight.

6. Kindness and generosity

Expect your partner to be kind and generous with you and others in your life. 

Some people don’t see the need for small acts of kindness if they don’t serve a clear purpose or align with societal norms. If your partner doesn’t even tip the waiter or gets annoyed at your parents’ dog, who honestly just wanted them to get out of her designated seat, it means their generosity level is about as low as a limbo bar at a beach party. 

Geoffrey Miller writes in his book Moral Psychology,

We feel lust for other people’s bodies, but we fall in love with their mental and moral traits . . . They reveal good mental health, good brain efficiency, good genetic quality, and good capacity for sustaining cooperative sexual relationships and investing in children.^[5]

To put that in layperson’s terms, no matter how they are or how big their 401k, a d-bag is a d-bag. Make sure your expectations include that your partner is a decent person to others — or they won’t be decent to you either.

7. Compromise

I once read a quote that said, “My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.” While, yes, you need a partner who will acquiesce when you explain that hanging a TV over a fireplace is tacky, good ol’ compromise is also important. 

Regular conflicts that persist without resolution can never foster a healthy relationship. So, both partners need to be willing to compromise. The difference between expectations and demands is respecting your partner’s point of view.

In the 2011 book Morality and the Emotions, Ben–Ze’ev writes,

The issue of compromise becomes even more complex when we are dealing with romantic love . . . The test of genuine love is whether lovers can accommodate these compromises in a manner that prevents, or significantly reduces, the negative aspects, allow the positive one’s to prevail.^[6]

Now, I’m not saying you should hang your TV over your fireplace — God, no — but focus on compromise to enhance your partnership. 

Compromise might mean they cut down on their drinking because you like them sober. They make travel plans despite being a homebody. Or if your partner has a driving phobia, you give up your dream of being a passenger princess and check the bus schedule. You agree to a “man cave” since you wouldn’t let him hang that monstrosity over your mahogany mantle.

Keep in mind that you should never compromise on your values or expect your partner to do so. You chose each other because of your essential relationship values, not despite them.

8. Emotional availability

Sometimes our emotions take the wheel like a toddler on a sugar high. Especially if you’re a woman over 35 — that perimenopause is like a roller coaster in Hell.

In those tough moments, we need a shoulder to cry on, someone to share our ridiculously overblown stories with, someone who hates Patrice from work just as much as we do despite never having met her.

An emotionally available partner reciprocates feelings naturally. They accept yours with grace and offer their own in return. 

Research in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships concluded that people who deal with stress by expressing their emotions thrive with more emotional support from their partners. They seek support more often and find it more helpful. Which improves their well-being and emotional satisfaction.^[7]

9. Confidence and maturity

Maturity is a killer trait we expect in our partners. It’s true that women mature faster than men, on average, but you’re not 11 years old anymore. You need a partner who’s a fully developed Adult with a capital A.

With such maturity comes true confidence, not misplaced confidence, which I would call arrogance. These are basic expectations you should set for your partner, the most fundamental qualities of a grown-ass man.

A mature, confident man attracts women like a dessert buffet at a menstrual cycle convention. A childish, arrogant man repels them. It’s up to you to know the difference.

10. Communication

If your heart’s messages struggle to find their way to your partner’s ears, a communication barrier looms over your relationship like a fog.

It’s not just about talking and listening; it’s about truly getting each other. When the communication starts to falter, you’ll notice the signs.

A 2002 article in Interpersonal Processes in Romantic Relationships advises, “People have to communicate when they initiate relationships. The way they approach potential partners, the type of questions they ask, and the information they disclose all influence whether and how their relationships develop.”^[8] 

Pay close attention to how your partner responds when you share your thoughts and feelings. You should expect them to be open to what you have to say and respond thoughtfully with their own point of view.

A 2009 study of communication observes that couples with secure attachment style communicate better during conflicts, while insecure couples tend to have negative interactions.^[9]

Openness in communication means sharing your thoughts and desires without the fear of being judged. Communicating in a manner that considers each other’s feelings and boundaries and provides encouragement, reassurance, and emotional support.

Turns out, good communication is the GPS that keeps your relationship from taking an unexpected detour right off a cliff.

How to Set and Manage Expectations in a Healthy Relationship

It’s all well and good to know what expectations are, but you need to know how to maintain your high standards.

Communicate expectations openly and honestly

A successful relationship depends significantly on clearly communicating your high expectations from the get-go. When discussing your thoughts and desires, instead of saying “You should . . . ,” use “I think we can . . . ” or “How about we . . . .” 

Keep it more of a team effort and less like a surprise attack.

You need to have those tough conversations about your expectations for a romantic power couple. Otherwise, resentment and passive-aggressive BS can build up. If you can’t abide certain behavior from your partner, it’s your responsibility to communicate that.

And it’s the same for those little things that can enhance romantic satisfaction.

Share your love for romantic gestures. Whether it’s a candlelit dinner or other quality time, be vocal about it. Let your partner know what you expect from them.

Let’s be real, men aren’t the most intuitive people in the world. They aren’t going to read your mind, so spell it out for them.

Be realistic and flexible with expectations

Different expectations are inevitable. What you want to avoid are mismatched expectations. These can lead to conflict, which is why it’s important that you be realistic and flexible about your expectations when entering into a relationship. 

If you set unreasonable expectations, you might find yourself disappointed when things don’t go as planned. But that doesn’t mean you give up your dream of walking on the red carpet with Ryan Reynolds — no way — just don’t freak out if your partner shows up as the budget version, complete with a coffee stain.

Life is full of surprises, so setting realistic expectations is key to staying adaptable and avoiding letdowns.

A study at Mercer University found that “unrealistic and idealistic expectations lower relationship satisfaction.” Not only that, but “the higher the expectations the steeper the declines in the relationship satisfaction over time.” In fact, author Danielle Render declares, “many studies have indicated that a powerful contributor to a decrease in marital satisfaction is the holding of unrealistic expectations.”^[10]

Here’s how to keep things on track:

• Plan regular date nights
• Balance time together with time apart
• Communicate clearly and address emotional, mental, and physical needs
• Apologize when you’re in the wrong
• Love with empathy and compassion
• Share domestic and financial responsibilities
• Find solutions rather than assigning blame

Regularly check in and adjust expectations

Sometimes we set too many expectations, which are then inevitably left unmet. In some cases, it may be appropriate to reevaluate your expectations.

Here are some common situations when you need to adjust your expectations.

• Your relationships keep failing
• You or your partner experiences life changes or a health crisis
• You decide to make a compromise to your expectations for the sake of the relationship
• You realize you’re basing your expectations on old relationships
• You experience a period of long distance from your partner
• Your relationship levels up, like moving in together or having kids
• Your partner’s or your own values change based on life events, current events, or something else 

It’s important you find ways to adjust and make sure your expectations are reasonable and realistic.

Distinguish between expectations and nonnegotiables

Ultimately, you’re your own number one. You’ve gotta look out for you. This means some of your expectations are nonnegotiable.

Some examples of relationship nonnegotiables:

• Fidelity
• Sobriety
• Financial stability
• Religion and politics
• Physical and emotional abuse

According to research from the journal Trauma, Violence, & Abuse,

Intimate partner violence (IPV) was shown to have negative effects on physical health outcomes for women, including worsening the symptoms of menopause and increasing the risk of developing diabetes, contracting sexually transmitted infections, engaging in risk-taking behaviors including the abuse of drugs and alcohol, and developing chronic diseases and pain.^[11]

Your nonnegotiables should absolutely include your safety, at all times. Never compromise in a way that could hurt you, your values, or your self-esteem. A partner who demands you compromise your values is not a mere mismatch. That’s a toxic relationship, girl.

You tell any partner who has a problem with your nonnegotiables to hit the road, Jack.

Balance individual and relationship expectations

Your goals and dreams won’t always align perfectly with your partner’s. 

Balancing your needs with relationship goals is like mixing a perfect cocktail: You need to blend your own flavors with your partner’s. Stir in a bit of compromise, shake up some open communication, and garnish with self-care.

It’s about finding a mix of activities you both enjoy, and sipping slowly to make sure the balance is just right. 

Align expectations around future plans and goals

If you’re aiming for a committed, long-term relationship, it’s smart to map out your goals and dreams ahead of time.

Discuss your goals for the future at the start to ensure you’re both on the same page. Talk about topics such as finances, sexuality, cohabitation, monogamy, plans for marriage, and your thoughts on having kids — or perhaps adopting a dog instead.

Conclusion

Now you know what healthy relationship expectations look like and how realistic your own expectations are.

From feeling loved and appreciated to trusting each other and communicating well, these expectations pave the way for a happier relationship. By talking openly about what you both expect out of your relationship, you can build a strong foundation together.

It’s about balancing your own needs with those of your partner, so you can grow together with a strong future.

Interested in exploring more topics about getting into a relationship? Check out our page here.

FAQs

What is the difference between wants and expectations in a relationship?

The difference between wants and expectations in a relationship is that wants are extra things you may not need for a healthy relationship, while realistic expectations are the must-haves to make your relationship stronger.

How do you tell someone your expectations in a relationship? 

If you want to tell someone your expectations in a relationship, learn to talk openly. Focus on words that don’t hurt or accuse your partner in any way. Use “I” instead of “you” to ensure your partner understands your individual needs and doesn’t feel attacked.

Why can expectations in a relationship cause problems?

Expectations can cause problems in relationships when they are based on unrealistic beliefs, such as expecting a healthy relationship to be 100% conflict-free. These unmet expectations lead to disappointment, resentment, and communication breakdowns, ultimately harming the relationship if left unresolved. 

References

1. Rokach, A. (2024). The meanings of love: An introduction. The Journal of Psychology, 158(1), 1–4.
https://doi.org/10.1080/00223980.2024.2307284

2. Teoh, P. H., Hashim, I. H. M., & Bono, S. A. (2024). Romantic relationship and well-being: A review of the role of trust, love expression, and commitment. Journal of Human Development and Communication, 12, 1–9.
https://doi.org/10.58915/johdec.v12.2023.624

3. Van Lankveld, J., Jacobs, N., Thewissen, V., Dewitte, M., & Verboon, P. (2018). The associations of intimacy and sexuality in daily life: Temporal dynamics and gender effects within romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(4), 557–576.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517743076

4. Yarros, R. (2023). Iron flame. Entangled Publishing, LLC.

5. Miller, G. (2007). Kindness, fidelity, and other sexually selected virtues. In W. Sinnott-Armstrong & C. B. Miller (Eds.), Moral Psychology, Volume 1: The Evolution of Morality: Adaptations and Innateness. The MIT Press.
https://doi.org/10.7551/mitpress/7481.003.0006

6. Ben-Ze’ev, A. (2011). Romantic compromises. In C. Bagnoli (Ed.), Morality and the emotions, pp. 95–114. Oxford University Press.
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Aaron-Ben-Zeev/publication/268871048_The_Nature_and_Morality_of_Romantic_Compromises/links/54f9b9530cf25371374ff6fd/The-Nature-and-Morality-of-Romantic-Compromises.pdf

7. Austin, K. W., Kane, H. S., Williams, D. D., & Ackerman, R. A. (2022). Emotional approach coping and daily support behavior in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(3), 526–548.
https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211041657

8. Vangelisti, A. L. (2002). Interpersonal processes in romantic relationships. Handbook of Interpersonal Communication, 3, 643–679.
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Anita-Vangelisti/publication/285862083_Interpersonal_processes_in_romantic_relationships/links/5932c86aa6fdcc89e7bde18c/Interpersonal-processes-in-romantic-relationships.pdf

9. Domingue, R., & Mollen, D. (2009). Attachment and conflict communication in adult romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(5), 678–696.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407509347932

10. Render, D. (2017). The prince charming effect: An analysis of the effect unrealistic portrayals of men have on relationship satisfaction within romantic relationships. Mercer University Research, Scholarship, and Archives.
https://ursa.mercer.edu/handle/10898/3710

11. Stubbs, A., & Szoeke, C. (2022). The effect of intimate partner violence on the physical health and health-related behaviors of women: A systematic review of the literature. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(4), 1157–1172.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838020985541