Once you pluck up the courage, how you make the first move depends on your style. It could be a sexy text, subtle flirting, or straight-up asking him out. The key is to be confident and genuine. Seize the moment.

How to Make a Move on a Guy

1. Make eye contact

Ah, the eyes — the windows to the soul. Although, if your plan is to shoot your shot, maybe looking deep into his soul isn’t a good place to start. I dunno, seems a bit intense. 

For some reason, though, eye contact works. In a reaction known as “autonomic arousal,” people’s brains are stimulated when they know they are the object of someone’s attention. This effect is even stronger when one party is aware “of being the target of another individual’s attention.”^[1]

That makes it a good way to make the first move, just to let someone know — subtly — that you’re into them. If you want to approach someone but you’re too nervous, meet their eyes and hold their gaze for a long second. If you’re feeling bold, maybe even give them a little smile or a nod.  

2. Flirt your socks off

If you have your eye on a man and want to move in, overt flirting might let him know you’re into him. Some people are oblivious to flirtation, so you might need to lay it on a bit thick if the subtle approach isn’t working. 

You can flirt through text, on a call, or in person. Playful teasing and compliments will make him feel good and let him know that you find him attractive. 

Just keep in mind, how you flirt should reflect your goal. A study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology found that “flirtation tactics that included cues to sexual availability such as displaying the body, dressing sexy, and sexualized physical contact were judged as more effective when they are employed by women in a short-term mating context.”^[2] 

Meaning you’re not looking for something long-term, you’re just looking for some “horizontal refreshment,” as they would say in the 1800s. So, if that’s not all you’re looking for, don’t make him think it is.

3. Laugh at his jokes

I don’t mean you should laugh at his jokes whether they’re funny or not. If he’s not funny, do us all a favor and please don’t encourage him. But if he is funny and you want to laugh, then laugh. Don’t be shy about it. Make some jokes of your own, too. Hopefully, he’ll laugh back! 

Laughing together is an effective way for two people to interact, helping people feel more at ease with each other. Bored people are rarely amused. So, if you laugh with him, you demonstrate you’re enjoying his company.^[3]

Laughter will also clue him in to the fact that you like him. According to researchers with Stanford University, people of all genders “convey intended flirtation by laughing more.”^[4] In fact, in the study I mentioned above from Evolutionary Psychology, authors Kennair et al. found that “responding to humor through laughing or giggling was considered an equally effective flirtation tactic for both men and women.”

By laughing at his jokes, you’re not just humoring him, you’re conveying your interest — you’re making your move.

4. Use your body language

You want him to know you’re interested, so lean toward him when he speaks. Don’t fold your arms in front of your body, no matter how anxious you’re feeling. That can make you seem uninterested.

Instead, keep your body open and facing him to show that you are genuinely interested in him. Touch him when you laugh at his jokes or get excited about something he says. Also touch your own face, hair, or other visible body part to draw his attention to you. Look at his mouth when he talks, raise your eyebrows, lower and soften your voice ever so slightly.

Pay attention to his body language at the same time to see if he is mirroring you. If he is, it may mean he is attracted to you as well. You may naturally feel yourself mirroring his behavior. Licking your lips when he licks his. Laying your hands on the table next to his. Keep it up. Mirroring his body language is a great way to make your move. 

A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology calls this the chameleon effect, which is when we mimic the actions of the person we are interacting with. This subconscious mirroring shows that we feel allied with the other person and can help us to bond.^[5]

The study’s authors, Chartrand and Bargh, argue that “if an individual’s movements and postures are purposefully mirrored by an interaction partner, that individual should report that the interaction went more smoothly and that the partner was more likable compared with individuals whose movements were not mirrored.”

Your body is one of the most powerful tools at your disposal when you want to show someone you’re interested.

5. Text him

If you’re too shy to approach him in person, send him a text or a message on his socials. Of course, this will only work if you have his phone number or are in touch with him on social media.  

Initiating romance in person can be intimidating, but writing a message, an email, or even a handwritten letter (I don’t know — maybe he’s old school) is a less scary way to tell someone how you feel. The advantage of the written word is that you can write draft after draft until you get it right.

With a message, you don’t need to be nervous that you’ll get tongue-tied or forget half of what you want to say. You can pour your heart out, ask him out, or just offer a simple “Hi!” and see where things go. Whatever it is, just write it down, press send, and then wait for a reply. 

6. Invite him over

If you’re already friendly with one another, invite him over to watch a movie and have a glass of wine. Netflix and chill is still a thing . . . I think. If food is your love language, you could even make a romantic candlelit dinner for two (or get a takeaway).

If he’s interested in you, he’ll jump at the chance to come over. Snuggling on the couch with the lights off, the warm glow of the TV bathing the room with a romantic ambiance . . . can only lead to one thing. 

7. Just ask him out

If you’re brave enough, just take the chance. Ask him out. Ask him to get a drink or go for dinner sometime. 

He’ll say yes, or he’ll say no. 

At least you’ll have your answer. The direct approach works. Whatever answer you get, you’ll know where you stand and you can take it from there. 

What to Consider Before Making Your First Move

Men are human, just like us. As much as we like to joke about how they’re from another planet, we are in fact all earthlings, and most of us have the same insecurities and doubts. 

So here are a few things to consider before you move in:

What’s his vibe?

If you’re not getting strong green-light signals from him when you flirt or gaze deeply into his eyes, he might be introverted, afraid of commitment, or not ready for a relationship. 

Or he may just be completely unaware of your romantic overtures because he’s thinking about trucks or football most of the time. 

On the other hand, maybe he is responsive to you. He might be reciprocating your flirting, touching, and laughing, maybe giving you green lights at every stop all the way to Lovetown.

Use empathy and your emotional intelligence to figure out if he’s giving off the right vibes. Women tend to have good instincts about people, so what is your gut telling you?

Will you put the relationship at risk?

Making a move is a big risk if you are close friends already. There are three ways that could go.

• Awkward
• Disaster
• Happily ever after 

If he’s worth the risk, put yourself out there.

Are you prepared for potential rejection?

Things don’t always work out the way we want them to. If you’re the kind of person who can handle things not going their way, great! But if you are not emotionally stoic enough to deal with rejection, maybe think twice before you make your move. 

Rejection is a part of life, and no one can avoid it forever. Let’s not forget that the Harry Potter series was rejected by several publishers before becoming a massive success. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should keep trying if he’s not up for it. Congratulate yourself for trying and move on with dignity.

Will you regret it forever if you don’t make a move?

Some say you only regret the things you don’t do. I disagree. 

I regret a lot of my choices in men and I know I’m not the only one. On the other hand, I often see guys from my past now that I was too scared to ask out then — and I have zero regrets. What did I lose? Not much, I’m guessing. Besides, you can’t miss something you never had. 

If you’re really into this guy, and you think he might be the one, then maybe you will regret it if you don’t make your move. If you’re the type to look back and wish you had done things differently, then maybe it’s time you start doing things differently. 

I’m all about living in the moment these days, so I say put yourself out there and get your man if he’s what you want. Only time will tell whether you’ll regret your choice.

How to Know When to Make Your Move

If you’ve answered the above questions and decided that you should make a move, now you have to decide when. First, be smart about it. If his grandma just died, now’s not the time to bat your eyelashes at him. If you or he have just gone through a breakup, also not a good idea.

Second, look for signs that he’s ready. You’ll know them when you see them because you’ll be exhibiting the same behavior towards him. 

Watch to see if his body language is open when you’re near, if he touches you and smiles. If you catch him looking at you, and if he makes an effort to talk to you. These are all subtle tells that he is interested. 

If you get the feeling that he’s into you, and nothing is going on in his life — or yours — that would make a move inappropriate, go for it.

Do Guys Like It When Girls Make the First Move?

If I have learned anything from my husband telling me this over and over again for the past 18 years, it’s that men WANT women to make the first move. 

He says they love it. They like to feel wanted and attractive, just like we do. 

But men are not a monolith. And it’s hard to know in the moment if he’ll be put off, especially if the stakes are high — if you really like him a lot. 

The fact that we’re even answering this question reveals the double standard between the sexes regarding forwardness in dating. Men don’t ask if making the first move is too forward, or if women like it when men take the initiative. The thought is laughable.

In a study of young Scottish women, they “were acutely conscious of the dilemma

they face when trying to attract men without ‘going too far.’ ”^[6] 

And yet at the same time, these same women reported that “knowing how to flirt, look sexy, play along with men’s sexual comments or ‘get a man to notice you’ . . . were all seen as a necessary, ‘fair enough,’ part of being a woman.” 

What a winding road to navigate. 

You have to trust your instincts. Go after what you want and to hell with what people think. If you wait for him to make the first move, you may be waiting a long time. 

Conclusion

There is no right or wrong way to make a move on a guy, it really depends on what you are comfortable with and what you think he wants. The important thing is to have confidence in your approach. 

Now that you know how to make the first move, just go for it. The worst that can happen is he says no, and that’s ok. There are billions more men out there.

For more advice about getting into a relationship, check out the link!

FAQs

How do you know if a guy likes you?

To know if a guy likes you, pay attention to how he treats you. If he likes you, he will compliment you, make eye contact with you, ask you questions about yourself, and remember the answers you give him. He may also mirror your body language and laugh a lot when you are around.

How do you make the first move without looking desperate?

To make the first move without looking desperate, just do it with confidence. Ask him out, flirt, buy him a drink, all with as much confidence as you can muster. And if he says no, leave it at that and don’t ask again. 

How should a girl make the first move in bed?

When a girl wants to make the first move in bed, it can be a little nerve-racking, especially if she is out of practice. But the good thing is that men don’t usually need much encouragement. Start with a passionate kiss to get things moving along nicely. Offer to give him a massage, and pop on some sexy underwear and some sexy music. 

References

1. Myllyneva, A., & Hietanen, J. K. (2015). There is more to eye contact than meets the eye. Cognition, 134, 100–109.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cognition.2014.09.011

2. Kennair, L. E. O., Wade, T. J., Tallaksen, M. T., Grøntvedt, T. V., Kessler, A. M., Burch, R. L., & Bendixen, M. (2022). Perceived effectiveness of flirtation tactics: The effects of sex, mating context and individual differences in US and Norwegian samples. Evolutionary Psychology, 20(1), 14747049221088011.
https://doi.org/10.1177/14747049221088011

3. Ginzburg, J., Breitholtz, E., Cooper, R., Hough, J., & Tian, Y. (2015, December 16–18). Understanding laughter [Paper presentation]. 20th Amsterdam Colloquium, Amsterdam, NE.
https://u-paris.hal.science/hal-01371396/document

4. Ranganath, R., Jurafsky, D., & McFarland, D. (2009, August). It’s not you, it’s me: Detecting flirting and its misperception in speed-dates. In Proceedings of the 2009 conference on empirical methods in natural language processing (pp. 334–342).
https://aclanthology.org/D09-1035.pdf

5. Chartrand, T.L., & Bargh, J.A. (1999). The chameleon effect: The perception-behavior link and social interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(6), 893–910.
https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.76.6.893 

6. Kitzinger, J. (1995). “I’m sexually attractive but I’m powerful”: Young women negotiating sexual reputation. Women’s Studies International Forum, 18(2), 187–196).
https://doi.org/10.1016/0277-5395(95)80054-S

Key Takeaways

• A guy might text you out of nowhere for lots of reasons, from being wasted drunk to still madly in love with you.
• If he’s going through a tough time, he might just need a friend. That doesn’t have to be you, but it could be.
• He may be playing games, so tread carefully — unless you know him well enough to know that he isn’t.
• If you’re not sure what he wants, and you really want to know, just ask him.

Why Guys Randomly Text You After Months of No Contact

1. He’s breadcrumbing you

Narcissists and manipulators love to play games. One game they love to play has been coined breadcrumbing by the dating zeitgeist. This means a person will give someone crumbs of attention every so often, just enough to keep them around and invested. 

When a man is breadcrumbing you, it’s usually because he wants to keep you interested in him. He wants your attention to be on him rather than elsewhere, “with no intention of being in a relationship,” according to an article from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

Authors Rodríguez-García et al. explain that “the modus operandi of the breadcrumber is to deceitfully leave a trail of breadcrumbs along the road to a meeting that will never take place.^[1]

If this pattern seems familiar, breadcrumbing could be the reason he’s come out of the woodwork. He’s laying a trail of crumbs for you to follow. 

Do yourself a favor and don’t gobble them up. 

2. He’s expecting you to run back to him

Speaking of narcissists . . . You haven’t spoken to or texted him for months and you’re happy enough with that arrangement. But he has an ego bigger than the state of Texas and he’s been expecting you to come running back to him.

You haven’t, so now he’s thinking you must have lost his number, fallen into a coma, or been abducted by aliens, because unfathomably, he hasn’t heard from you. 

He’s texting to see if you’re still alive, because if you are, and you haven’t lost the use of your faculties, he must solve the mystery of why you haven’t come back begging.

3. He’s horny

A man getting in touch randomly, especially if it’s late at night, is very possibly a booty call. Especially if his first text is “You up?” 

If you have a sexual history with him, chances are he wants to add to the history book. This dude is horny and he’d rather bother you than put in the effort with someone new, and he already knows all the right buttons to push (at least he thinks so). 

It will be easy enough to figure out if it’s a booty call or not; he’ll probably get to the point pretty quickly. Now you just have to figure out what you want to do about it.

4. He’s lonely

It’s possible that he’s been going through a hard time and just needs someone to talk to. If you were a big part of his life, he might still feel emotionally attached to you. If he’s feeling lonely and vulnerable, it’s only natural that he’d turn to you.

Research from the University of York found that men are the lonelier of the sexes, especially single men. Ratcliffe et al. explain that “romantic relationships are more important for preventing loneliness in men.”^[2] So, if he hasn’t moved on to a new relationship, you’re the next best thing. 

If you think this might be the case, maybe hear him out. After all, we’re all just trying to survive the day-to-day struggle of loitering on this doomed space rock. Unless the relationship was toxic, being his virtual shoulder to lean on for a while might help you both more than you know. 

5. He’s drunk

We all know alcohol lowers our inhibitions, and when that happens, we sometimes say things we wouldn’t be bold enough to say sober. If he’s had a few drinks, he may be sending you a message that he’s wanted to send for a long time. 

On the other hand, nostalgia (and tequila) might have just gotten the better of him. If he’s drunk and alone, perhaps he’s feeling sad and sentimental. He’ll probably be mortified in the morning, and he may even apologize.

6. He’s changed 

Sometimes, people are given a wake-up call when they go through a breakup. Let’s call it a breakup wake-up. It’s possible that after you split, he realized he wasn’t all that and a bag of chips, and decided he should work on himself. 

After a few months of self-love (get your mind out of the gutter, I mean therapy and exercise) he’s found himself in a much better state of mind. He’s more confident, he’s healthier, and he feels like a better person. 

He’s reaching out now because he’s improved himself for you — he’s a high-value man now — and is in the right state of mind to try again. If you’re not interested, don’t confuse him by leading him on. Give him the ol’ “Well done you” and send him on his way. 

7. You’ve changed

Maybe you’re the one who’s had a breakup wake-up. It’s easy to let ourselves go when we’ve been in a relationship for a while. I know I certainly have, but thankfully my husband doesn’t seem to have noticed, bless his heart. 

Often, after women go through a breakup, they’ll have a mini (or maxi) glow-up. Women might change their hairstyle, get some sexy new clothes, maybe lose some weight — that weight that we put on when we get comfortable in a relationship is the first thing to go, right after the man — and if you’re looking your best self now, he may have noticed.

A message telling you that you’re looking good means he’s noticed, and he is trying his luck. 

8. He hasn’t accepted the breakup

If you were in a relationship with him and he wasn’t fully on board with ending said relationship, he may not have moved on. Some people find it hard to cope when they’ve gone through a breakup. 

If this is the case, he could be texting you because he doesn’t want you to move on either. He’s reminding you that he’s still there and hasn’t forgotten about you. 

In such cases, it’s important to establish boundaries. If you’re ready to move on and he’s not, too bad for him. Stand your ground. Only you know what’s best for you.

9. He’s jealous

If it’s been a while since you guys were together, you may have hard-launched a new relationship. If he’s getting in touch after seeing or finding out about your someone new, he may be jealous. 

He might not want you, but that doesn’t mean he wants anyone else to have you either.

Research shows that how long you were together will affect how jealous he might be. According to the American Journal of Psychological Research, “Men, who have experienced the loss of a mate, may tend to express jealousy more readily the longer he invests in a relationship.”^[3]

This is definitely a him-problem, not a you-problem. Focus on your new relationship and let him stew in his own juice.

10. He regrets the breakup 

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in many cases that is true. Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. If you were in a loving, committed relationship that ended amicably, he may have been thinking about you ever since you parted ways. 

A random text months later could mean that he’s realized he simply can’t live without you. Maybe he now sees that whatever your differences, you can work through them together. 

How you react obviously depends on the quality of your relationship, but it’s not uncommon for regret to set in after a breakup, when people realize they’ve made a huge mistake.

Maybe he’s texting you now to test the water, to see if you might feel the same way.

11. A change in circumstance

Often things don’t take off between two people, no matter what the attraction is, because life gets in the way. One person has to focus on career or family for a while, and that doesn’t leave much time for anything else. 

If he had a lot on his plate before, with work or other commitments, maybe he’s not so busy now. If he was living far away and long distance wasn’t working for you, maybe he’s moved closer to your area and wants to give it another go.

Whether you’ve been waiting around for him or moved on is another story.

12. He misses your friendship

You’re amazing and fun to be with, so it stands to reason that he misses your company. You might have been really good friends, and maybe he misses the bond you shared. You may think a guy wouldn’t miss you after a month or two, but if you had a real connection, he probably does.

Or perhaps he was reminded of you in some way, like he smelled your perfume or walked past your favorite restaurant. That sort of thing can trigger feelings and memories that lie just below the surface and awaken a yearning, if you will, for the person you are reminiscing about. 

Neither of you might want to rekindle your romance, but maybe you guys could find a way to be friends now. You must have gotten along well once, and just because it didn’t work out romantically doesn’t mean you can’t still have a friendly relationship if you both want one. 

According to an article published in the Journal of Social Psychology, “Although the romantic relationship may not have worked, individuals can turn a satisfying, albeit dissolved, romance into a meaningful and rewarding friendship.”^[4]

Exes can make really good friends.

13. He wants an innocent catch-up

One ex of mine, for years after we broke up, would call or text me once or twice a year just to see how my life was going, and fill me in on his. It was nice.

Maybe that’s all it is. Maybe he was reminded of you somehow and he’s feeling nostalgic. Now he wants to chat about the fun times you had or simply wants to know how things are with you. If you were very close before, he will certainly be wondering how you’re doing, and you’re probably wondering about him too. 

If your relationship wasn’t serious and didn’t end in heartbreak — maybe you were just dating casually or talking — he may still be curious how you are and what you’re up to these days. Sometimes people just want to stay connected, and if a man keeps reaching out to you every so often, maybe that’s what his goal is — nothing more nefarious than keeping in touch.

Just because you broke up doesn’t mean you don’t still care about one another. 

14. He’s looking for a confidence boost

An insecure man might seek attention from women he knows to give himself a little ego boost. He might like the way you make him feel and just want another tasty morsel of that. A bit of positive attention from someone you fancy is a tried and tested way to perk up your confidence levels. 

He’s probably not even doing it on purpose. He might just feel down, and he knows if you reply to his message, you may give him the pick-me-up he needs. 

Throw the man a bone. 

15. He’s keeping his options open

If he’s the kind of guy who likes to keep his options open, this text could be your entry into his virtual waiting room. He just wants to date someone — anyone. He probably has a whole flock of women lingering in his waiting room.

Yeah, he likes you, but he’s not that into you. He wants to keep you close, keep you as a plan B (or C or D or . . .) in case his plan A doesn’t work out. 

He’s making sure you stay in touch so you can reconnect in the future if things don’t work out for him elsewhere. I’d truly question your judgment if you stuck around for this — and so would Lizzo.

What to Do When a Guy Randomly Texts You After Months

A guy texting you out of nowhere might seem like a pain, but at least it’s less confusing than when a guy stops texting you out of nowhere. With this, you’ve got a bit more control over the situation. 

Wait before you respond

For the love of all that is good and holy, please do not reply to him straightaway. If you see his name pop up on your screen, sit on your hands if you have to. Do not touch your phone for at least five minutes. 

You don’t want him to see that you read the message immediately, like you have nothing better to do. You have not been thinking about him, you have not been hoping he would get in touch. You’re far too busy and important for that actually, ok?

Have some fun

If the reason for his text is just that he wants a one-night stand, you should do whatever feels right for you. A booty call might be fun, and if you want to roll with it, no judgment here. 

If you are, however, busy with something else, or you know, asleep . . . keep doing what you’re doing. Sleep is wonderful, and a late-night booty call from Thor himself wouldn’t make me abandon my dreams. 

Ignore him

He for sure needs to be ignored if he’s texting you because he is drunk, jealous, or looking for attention. There’s no reason that you should have to take time out of your schedule just to feed his need for your attention; he’s not your child.

That doesn’t deserve a response.

Have a conversation

If you think his reasons are innocent, like he wants to keep in touch with you, sure. If you want that, too, you should go for it. 

Or if you think he’s reaching out because he is having a tough time, you can be there for him — if that’s what you want. But remember, you’re not obligated to help him.

The same goes for getting back together; if that is something you both want, it’s worth talking about. So, have a conversation and see what happens.

Ask him what he wants

I always find the best way to get the truth out of someone is to just ask them for it straight out. If you’re not sure you can trust him to tell you the truth, that tells you everything you need to know right there.

Ask him why he’s texting, and if he’s genuine, he will tell you. 

Conclusion

It won’t take a great deal of sleuthing to figure out why he’s texting you. Drunks and booty callers are easily sussed out, and you can deal with those however you like. 

A guy looking for someone to massage his ego will out himself, and the green-eyed monster always shows itself very quickly, so if he’s texting because he’s jealous, you’ll know soon enough.

If he’s texting after all this time for a more serious reason, like he wants to talk about getting back together, it might take him longer to get to the point. 

Whatever the reason, take your time and see where your conversation goes. In most cases, it’s best to just ask him what he wants. That way, you don’t have to keep Googling “Why does he randomly text me after months?”

Interested in learning more topics about ending a relationship? Check our page.

References

1. Rodríguez-García, M. C., Márquez-Hernández, V. V., Granados-Gámez, G., Aguilera-Manrique, G., Martínez-Puertas, H., & Gutiérrez-Puertas, L. (2020). Development and validation of breadcrumbing in affective-sexual relationships (BREAD-ASR) questionnaire: Introducing a new online dating perpetration. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(24), 9548.
   https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17249548 ︎
2. Ratcliffe, J. M., Galdas, P., & Kanaan, M. (2020). Men and loneliness in the “west”: A critical interpretive synthesis [Unpublished manuscript]. University of York.
   https://doi.org/10.21203/rs.3.rs-17584/v1 ︎
3. Southard, A., & Abel, M. C. (2010). Sex differences in romantic jealousy: Evaluating past and present relationship experience. American Journal of Psychological Research, 6(1), 41–49.
   https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ashton-Southard/publication/266221243_Sex_Differences_in_Romantic_Jealousy_Evaluating_Past_and_Present_Relationship_Experience/links/565cdbda08aefe619b25458e/Sex-Differences-in-Romantic-Jealousy-Evaluating-Past-and-Present-Relationship-Experience.pdf ︎
4. Bullock, M., Hackathorn, J., Clark, E. M., & Mattingly, B. A. (2011). Can we be (and stay) friends? Remaining friends after dissolution of a romantic relationship. The Journal of Social Psychology, 151(5), 662–666.
   https://doi.org/10.1080/00224545.2010.522624 ︎

Asking out-of-the-box questions is a great way to do this. So, here are 60 questions to ask your boyfriend to make him laugh. 

Romantic Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Make Him Laugh

• Would you eat spaghetti with me like Lady and the Tramp? Would you eat spaghetti with me like Lady and the Tramp?
• If I was just a head in a jar, like on Futurama, would you be sad that we couldn’t hold hands? If I was just a head in a jar, like on Futurama, would you be sad that we couldn’t hold hands?
• If I were turned into a snail and the only way you could be with me was to be a snail too, would you become a snail? If I were turned into a snail and the only way you could be with me was to be a snail too, would you become a snail?
• If you end up in a coma somehow, can I take selfies with you and post them on social media with romantic hashtags? #sleepyhead If you end up in a coma somehow, can I take selfies with you and post them on social media with romantic hashtags? #sleepyhead
• If we woke up in a musical, would you sing a love song to me over breakfast? If we woke up in a musical, would you sing a love song to me over breakfast?
• If we were both frogs, would you share your lily pad with me? If we were both frogs, would you share your lily pad with me?
• Would you help me hide if you found out I was a robot that had become sentient and escaped its creator? Would you help me hide if you found out I was a robot that had become sentient and escaped its creator?
• What weird family traditions do you have that you want us to continue in our relationship? What weird family traditions do you have that you want us to continue in our relationship?
• How would you feel if I sang a love song while staring deeply into your eyes? How would you feel if I sang a love song while staring deeply into your eyes?
• If my name was picked for the Hunger Games, would you volunteer as tribute? If my name was picked for the Hunger Games, would you volunteer as tribute?

Love and laughter go hand in hand, just like you and your man. A study from the UC Davis Undergraduate Research Journal reports that sharing laughter is a good way to support a partner through a tough time. 

The study’s author, Jia Chong, says “A partner’s appropriate use of humor to cut through fear and anxiety and connect with a partner through shared positive feelings is likely to be conducive to greater intimacy in a relationship.”^[1] 

Sure, there’s a time and a place for serious, deep questions. But these silly romantic questions are perfect for keeping the love alive in a fun way.

Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Make Him Laugh

• What superpowers would you have if you could choose two? What would you do with them? What superpowers would you have if you could choose two? What would you do with them?
• If you lost a hand and had to choose between having a hook or having a perfectly functioning new hand that would always stink of dead fish, which would you choose? If you lost a hand and had to choose between having a hook or having a perfectly functioning new hand that would always stink of dead fish, which would you choose?
• Where do your balls go when you ride a bicycle? Where do your balls go when you ride a bicycle?
• Would you stake me if I turned into a vampire, or would you let me turn you too? Would you stake me if I turned into a vampire, or would you let me turn you too?
• For the rest of your life you can only eat your least favorite food served on a plate or your favorite food licked off my feet. What do you choose? For the rest of your life you can only eat your least favorite food served on a plate or your favorite food licked off my feet. What do you choose?
• If the Purge happened in real life, what usually illegal thing would you do, and why would you do it? If the Purge happened in real life, what usually illegal thing would you do, and why would you do it?
• If we swapped bodies for a day, what would you do with my body, and what would you want me to do with yours? If we swapped bodies for a day, what would you do with my body, and what would you want me to do with yours?
• If we were stranded somewhere, starving to death, would you let me eat you so that I could live longer? If we were stranded somewhere, starving to death, would you let me eat you so that I could live longer?
• If I were half fish, would you rather my top half or my bottom half was the fish half? If I were half fish, would you rather my top half or my bottom half was the fish half?
• Would you rather live without your skin or without your bones? Would you rather live without your skin or without your bones?
• If you were a Spice Girl, what would your Spice Girl name be? If you were a Spice Girl, what would your Spice Girl name be?
• Would you rather have sex with an animal but nobody would ever know or not have sex with an animal but everyone thinks you did? Would you rather have sex with an animal but nobody would ever know or not have sex with an animal but everyone thinks you did?
• What is your favorite dinosaur? What is your favorite dinosaur?
• If you could have any mythical creature as a best friend, which one would you want? If you could have any mythical creature as a best friend, which one would you want?
• If you had to eat one crayon, which color crayon would you choose? If you had to eat one crayon, which color crayon would you choose?
• What would your name be if you were a girl? What would your name be if you were a girl?
• Do you think Transformers need car insurance? Do you think Transformers need car insurance?
• What’s the first rule of Fight Club? What’s the first rule of Fight Club?
• If we were to play hide and seek, where would you hide right now? If we were to play hide and seek, where would you hide right now?
• Do you think we will do well as a team when the zombie apocalypse comes? What qualities and skills do you think we will both bring to the table? Do you think we will do well as a team when the zombie apocalypse comes? What qualities and skills do you think we will both bring to the table?

Asking random and ridiculous questions is a good way to show your fun side and to learn new things about your partner. A lot of these fun questions should be followed up by more questions, so you can get to the reasoning behind their answers and find out what drives them in life. 

According to research from the University of Western Ontario, people prefer to date others who have a good sense of humor. But in the long run, if partners share a similar sense of humor, they will be more satisfied in their relationship, and if they don’t, well, they won’t be quite so happy together.^[2] 

If you make one another laugh every day, it can only enhance your relationship. 

Sexual Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Make Him Laugh

• Want me to bite you? Where? Want me to bite you? Where?
• How would you feel if I refused to have sex with you unless you wore an Iron Man mask throughout, every time? Would we still have sex? How would you feel if I refused to have sex with you unless you wore an Iron Man mask throughout, every time? Would we still have sex?
• What sequence of emojis would you use to describe your sex life? What sequence of emojis would you use to describe your sex life?
• Would you prefer an afternoon nap or some afternoon delight? Would you prefer an afternoon nap or some afternoon delight?
• You can only use one sexual position for the rest of your life — what is it? You can only use one sexual position for the rest of your life — what is it?
• Have you ever been caught having sex, and if so, did you stop or keep going? Have you ever been caught having sex, and if so, did you stop or keep going?
• What is one thing you have tried in the bedroom that you never want to try again because it was so awful? What is one thing you have tried in the bedroom that you never want to try again because it was so awful?
• What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever masturbated to? What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever masturbated to?
• Where is the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex? Where is the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?
• Is that an erection in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Is that an erection in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

If you’re secure enough in your own skin to hear about your partner’s past exploits (sexploits?) then these personal questions are for you. 

Beyond knowing your partner’s sexual history, which you absolutely should, questions like this can break the ice and, as long as you’re not both Puritans, lead to some laughs. It also might give you some clues about the best turn-on to use with him. 

Just remember, don’t ask any juicy questions you don’t want to hear the answers to.

Dirty Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Make Him Laugh

• If your penis had to be the shape of a vegetable, what vegetable shape do you think I would enjoy the most? If your penis had to be the shape of a vegetable, what vegetable shape do you think I would enjoy the most?
• If you could have me dress up as any fantasy character for sexy time, who would it be? If you could have me dress up as any fantasy character for sexy time, who would it be?
• Do you think it would be faster to remove my underwear with a hockey glove or a baseball glove? Do you think it would be faster to remove my underwear with a hockey glove or a baseball glove?
• Would you prefer to watch people having sex or be watched while you are having sex? Would you prefer to watch people having sex or be watched while you are having sex?
• Will you pretend to be a carpenter so you can nail me? Will you pretend to be a carpenter so you can nail me?
• Have you ever thought about a cartoon character from your childhood during sex? Have you ever thought about a cartoon character from your childhood during sex?
• Are you a stalker? Do you want to hide in my bush? Are you a stalker? Do you want to hide in my bush?
• If I were a PlayStation controller, which part of me would be your favorite button? If I were a PlayStation controller, which part of me would be your favorite button?
• If I could only have one orifice in my body, and you were the one that had to choose it, which hole would you leave me with? If I could only have one orifice in my body, and you were the one that had to choose it, which hole would you leave me with?
• What happened in the weirdest sex dream you have ever had? What happened in the weirdest sex dream you have ever had?

It’s important in most romantic relationships — of course there are exceptions — that the sexy spark is kept alive and that both sides feel attractive to the other. 

According to an article from the National Library of Medicine, studies show that “body valuation by a committed male partner is positively associated with women’s relationship satisfaction when that partner also values them for their nonphysical qualities.”^[3]

Nonphysical as in . . . sense of humor. 

These dirty but funny questions can help you to discover intimate things about one another in a lighthearted way. They’re also more fun than having things fizzle out when you get bored with the same old program. 

And, for bonus points, they’ll heat things up in the bedroom. 

Flirty Questions to Ask a Guy to Make Him Laugh

• If I were a cute little ghost, would you peek under my sheet? If I were a cute little ghost, would you peek under my sheet?
• Have you ever stolen anything — besides my heart? Have you ever stolen anything — besides my heart?
• If I was a dessert, what would I be? If I was a dessert, what would I be?
• If our relationship was a rom-com, how would we have gotten together? If our relationship was a rom-com, how would we have gotten together?
• Does your penis have a name? Does your penis have a name?
• We are two scoops of ice cream on a cone. What flavors are we? We are two scoops of ice cream on a cone. What flavors are we?
• Are you on Santa’s naughty or nice list? Are you on Santa’s naughty or nice list?
• Hey, Aladdin, wanna see my magic carpet? Hey, Aladdin, wanna see my magic carpet?
• If you had to eat breakfast off my naked body, what breakfast food would you choose? If you had to eat breakfast off my naked body, what breakfast food would you choose?
• Do you want to be the little spoon or the big spoon? Do you want to be the little spoon or the big spoon?

Flirting is so much fun, and it makes people feel good. 

An article from the University of Pennsylvania’s Penn Journal of Philosophy indicates that flirting is not only used to show sexual attraction, and to assess and explore the potential for a good partner, but also to increase intimacy in an existing relationship. It explains, “On the other hand, people often flirt simply because it represents an enjoyable form of interaction.”^[4]

Like I said, it’s fun!

So bat your eyelashes, giggle, flip your hair around in a sexy manner, and ask him flirty questions.

Conclusion

There’s no shortage of questions to ask your boyfriend to make him laugh out loud. While you’re exploring these, I bet you’ll come up with many more funny questions of your own.

Hopefully, they will give you and your man lots of laughs together. Questions like these will lead to intimate conversations where you can both learn a lot — about one other, yourselves, and your relationship. 

Looking for more tips and advice on being in a relationship? Check the link!

References

1. Chong, J. (2014). Love and laughter: Attachment style and the use of humor when emotionally supporting a relationship partner. The UC Davis Undergraduate Research Journal, 16, 1–12.
https://academia.edu

2. Caird, S. M. (2011). Laughter and love: The role of humour styles in dating relationships [Master’s thesis, Western University]. Western Libraries Digitized Theses.
https://ir.lib.uwo.ca/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7246&context=digitizedtheses

3. Meltzer, A. L., & McNulty, J. K. (2014). “Tell me I’m sexy…and otherwise valuable”: Body valuation and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 21(1), 68–87.
https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12018

4. Chang, E. (2017). The evolutionary function of flirting. Penn Journal of Philosophy, 3(1).
https://repository.upenn.edu/server/api/core/bitstreams/0e68aba5-18b4-4745-bd55-8b351b3f64ae/content